Veins of Vodka (RoChu) BoyxBoy
by starlight.in.my.heart
Summary: "Yao Yao, do you love me?" A bright, cheerful face asked. The slender Chinese's body was curled into a ball, his amber cat like eyes shining proudly with tears. The bed sheets were stained with blood, and his golden palace had long since been abandoned. He slowly got up from the bed, ignoring the throbbing pain from his hips. "No. I don't."
1. Prologue Introduction

**FULL summary: **

"Yao Yao, do you love me?" The bright, cheerful face asked. The sunflower petals had scattered on the dark brown hair.

The slender Chinese's body was curled into a ball, his amber cat like eyes shining proudly with tears. The bed sheets were stained with blood, and his golden palace had long since been abandoned. He slowly got up from the bed, ignoring the throbbing pain from his hips.

The man with silvery hair and violet eyes noticed a painful looking scar marring the creamy, soft skin. Glaring at the large Russian for looking, Yao pulled the silk soft robe with imperial threads meticulously sewn into it over his shoulders.

"No, I don't." He replied with hate burning evidently.

Warnings: YAOI. A RoChu fan fiction. RussiaxChina. Contains mature content.

_**A/N - So really quick, just a reminder. I AM StarlightandSnow from Wattpad, which is why the stories are exactly the same. I like to post my fanfictions on both websites. Except I have a couple of Wattpad not on here, because those aren't fanfics. But anyway, I digress. Enjoy this series! **_

**PROLOGUE **

The frigid atmosphere caused him to shift uncomfortably. His pale skin was heavenly, it would melt to Ivan's forceful yet restrained touches. He seemed like a porcelain doll, with a soft set mouth that would light up the world when he smiled. The golden, large cat like eyes were anxiously staring at the ticking clock.

Tick. Tick. Tick. If filled the silence of the space.

There are some villans in this world, that do not brashly and obviously display their horrid intentions. It's not simple to tell others this, even though the way they speak, and their demeanor tells you, "He's a bad one," yet you have no substantial proof. It's frustrating. Extremely.

Yao's hands tightened into the luxurious red Chinese dress, that he saw as gaudy. The mascara that coated his long lashes, felt heavy and burdensome. The rogue that lightly coated his soft lips seemed cheap to him. However, to any passer by, it was obvious he was beautiful. Yet, he could not see it. After all, he was a man!

He clung onto his pride desperately, he would retain his dignity. He didn't want to loose his composure, it was childish for such an old nation to loose his cool over a young brat.

The door opened to the open, empty penthouse where Yao waited nervously in the dark shadows. The Russian man wasn't really one for decorating. So it was cold, unbearably so. Everything was hard cut and modern sleek shapes.

Yao despised the reflection of himself he saw in the window, the city lights twinkling like sparkles scattering the sky. The rain drops were clear, the night was restless.

The door opened, and there was the sound of footsteps against the floor. Worn out, Ivan seated himself on the rectangular plush couch, still regaining his posture. He rested one knee on the couch, with the other leg exteneded. He was simply, the figure of sexiness.

Ivan had returned from a meeting, and was donned in his sleek suit. His silvery hair was tousled, and he ran his fingers through it, the watch glinting in the lowlight. His eyes were closed currently, and he sighed.

The intense violet eyes met the frightened golden, honey ones. Ivan wondered if his proud kitten would scratch him tonight. Wouldn't be too bad, Ivan smirked slightly to himself.

He suddenly pulled Yao close to him, holding the smaller frame to closer to his body. Yao's hand lay limply against the broad, strong chest. He felt angry that Ivan was so much bigger than him.

He took Yao's hand and pressed his lips to the palm.

"Yao Yao," He whispered affectionately.

"Don't call me that." Yao snatched his hand away.

His Yao was in a bad mood, and he hated it. Why did he never laugh or smile around him? Ivan had tried everything. He tried being gentlemanly like that British man he despised so much. He showered Yao in gifts every day, he gave him everything he could afford. That didn't work either, which was strange since his "range" is limitless. If Yao demanded the world, he'd buy it. However, he could never give him freedom.

He titled Yao's chin up.

"What is wrong?" He demaneded.

"Nothing. I just want to go home, not that you'd let me." Yao grimaced. He did not like this persistent sort of affection. Ivan was over doting, which he hated.

"Do you hate me that much?" Ivan inquired.

"Yes, I do." Yao replied swiftly without missing a beat. Ivan laughed lightly in response.

"As blunt as ever." Ivan said, his cheerful expression hiding the heavy, depressing feelings buiding inside.

* * *

He was shocked, when the Russian smiled sadly. "Just take your makeup off and go to bed tonight." He stood back up, and lingered as if he wanted to say something but something seemed to hold him back. Shaking his head, Ivan leaned down, and felt his heart wince with hurt when he saw Yao cower in fear. He pressed a simple kiss to Yao's forehead and left.

That was it.

Yao was relieved that he wouldn't have to serve Ivan in bed. Pushing away the worry he held for Ivan, he immediately headed to the bathroom to take his horrible makeup off, but paused when he saw orchids in the vase in the hallway.

Yao was always the strong one.

The one they had always relied on. He never showed others his tears, and learned to rely on himself. He did not even utter a whimper when he had been stabbed by Kiku. He gritted his teeth, buried the sorrow, and moved on. What had happened, it would not change. He understood it very clearly.

He had always swore to himself ever since that day, "I will live, no matter what." He would survive. He wouldn't fade like the nations. He would last for eternity, he promised.

So with all this steely determination, he wondered, why was he so easily shaken up with a few simple words? He had remembered a previous time when Ivan had held him when Ivan was drunk.

_"I love you," he whispered gently in that heady, deep Russian accent. It was so heart breaking to hear the Russian man on the verge of tears. He sounded so utterly miserable that Yao would never love him back._

Yao swallowed a lump in his throat and rubbed his eyes, his large sleeves hiding most of his hands. His eyes were tinged pink, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

It was strange.

The kinder that Ivan was, the more Yao wanted to cry.

_ "Why are you stuck on me? I'm a guy, wouldn't a woman be better?"_

_"It can't be anyone but you."_

_"What an irresponsible thing to say aru."_

_"If I relied on just your free will, you'd never stay with me. Therefore, I have to forcefully bind you to me. I just can't afford to let you go."_

_"Why?"_

_"Isn't it obvious? For such a wise nation, you're awfully dense." Ivan had a slightly bitter expression, he felt dejected. When Yao only blinked in confusion at him, it only made him feel worse._

A painful feeling constricted inside his chest. No he didn't want to remember anymore. It was too troublesome, it was so long ago. He quickly walked towards the kitchen area, rummaging through the sparse cabinets desperately. The anxiousness and unease crowded in his mind, causing him to panic a little. He found the box of tablets and going on his tip toes, he took it from the shelf.

Yao opened the refrigerator to find a bottle of tea and a bottle of water. He grabbed the bottle of water and took the tablets gingerly out from the box. He popped it in his mouth, unscrewed the cap on the bottle and gulped down the frosty water. He swallowed water and tossed the empty bottle across the room.

He slumped to the floor, pulling his knees close to him. The uneasy feelings faded away, a fluffy feeling wrapped around his chest. He breathed a sigh of relief.

Everything is normal. I can keep breathing and living.

"I'll be fine." Yao said shakily aloud to himself, the sound echoing throughout the large empty builidng.


	2. Chapter 1

_**Cool Songs for this Chapter:**_

_**Million Dollar Man - Lana Del Rey**_

_**Memory - Younha ( Feat. Tablo )**_

_**Czardas (Violin)**_

* * *

**CHAPTER 1**

_A faint light in the distance, a vague touch that caressed him gently like a carefree breeze. If he reached just a little further ... no. It was just beyond his fingertips, so very close. It was frustrating, it was there, yet he was not able to attain what he wished to possess._

_Tendrils of ice, wrapped around him uninvitingly,_ _as if trapping him in a sparkling clear cage. No matter how beautiful it appeared, it still refrained him from reaching the warm sun. Just a little further.. he wanted to bask in that golden light. What he desired was so intangible, yet so close. At that very moment, some outer force pulled him from his dreaming state. _

"Mr. Braginski." A voice inquired politely. Stirring slowly, Ivan awoke to find himself laid in the leather black le corbusier lounge chair. He sat up slowly, ignoring the pounding migraine in his head. He made a fist with his hands and rested them on his forehead.

His secretary stood patiently, waiting for Ivan to gradually wake up. When Ivan looked up, he saw that his secretary had a silver tray with a steaming cup of black coffee. The aroma helped him to become more aware.

Ivan took the cup of coffee thankfully, taking slow sips from it. His shirt was slightly unbuttoned, his silvery hair was tousled. "Call for a car," He told his secretary.

"Yes, I understand. Are you planning on returning?" The secretary peeked at the tired man from underneath his glasses. Ivan was buried in a stack of papers, contracts, waiting to be signed. Proposals that needed to be read, his head was starting to ache again remembering all of the matters that needed to be attended to. He pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I will. I'll come back later in the afternoon for the meeting with our clients." He stood up, stretching his long legs. He slipped on his black jacket over his rustled white button up shirt. Ivan walked out with confidence, his hands tucked into his pockets.

Stepping outside onto the street, he observed silently the bustling city streets, the cars whizzing past causing his silver hair to rustle. In that moment, he appeared as a model striking an elegant pose for a fashion magazine.

Women paused, whispering and giggling at the attractive wealthy, young man. Glancing at his watch, he decided he had some time before the car arrived. Strolling down the street, he passed by many high end designer stores.

He paused, a window display catching his eye. _"Oh, it would fit Yao so well,_" he thought immediately to himself when he spotted the sparkling piece of jewelry. It was a bracelet made of rose gold, with clear diamonds artfully placed inside metal peonies. It was a feminine piece, but it did not sway him from purchasing.

Ivan left the jewelry store in a good mood, humming cheerfully. He looked down at the wrapped box in his hands with the ribbon tied over it, he wondered what Yao's expression would be like? A flushed, excited smile crossed his face like a young child's.

* * *

When Ivan walked into the chilly penthouse, he thought it was utterly adorable how Yao curled up like a tiny kitten in a bundle of blankets and pillows on the window seat. The only thing visible was the top of his head. Guilt plagued him, Yao looked so damn lonely though ...

It couldn't be helped. All Ivan wanted to do was lock Yao up, and treat him like Rapunzel. Sighing, he sat by the curled up figure, lightly running his fingers over the cool cheek. "Mphm," Yao made a small sound, and snuggled up to Ivan's lap. Surprised, but happy, Ivan stroked the dark hair in content.

"Kiss me," Yao whispered faintly. Pleased to hear this, Ivan leaned down to press his lips against the parted ones that were softly breathing. Yao took the initiative this time, he turned the chaste kiss into something more adult - like. He traced Ivan's lip with his tongue, Ivan parted his lips to allow the probing tongue entry.

Their two tongues rolled over each other, exploring every part of each other's mouth. Their mouths strained against each other's, with Yao's body still relaxed in sleep. Yao pulled apart and whispered lovingly against the Russian's moist mouth, "I love you..." Ivan's heart elated at those words, it felt like he was on cloud nine. The words were so close to spilling out! However, Yao hadn't finished his sentence. "Arthur," He caressed the name so gently it sent flames of jealously down his very core.

He pushed the sleepy Yao away, the silver hair casting shadows across his downcast face. Yao finally awoke with a start, rubbing his eyes. "Ivan aru? When did you get home?"

When Ivan didn't answer, Yao became worried. "Oh, did you have a bad day?" He leaned forward on his knees, it was quite a feminine action. His cool hand brushed the silver hair which was covering Ivan's violet eyes. It was a similar action he had done in the past, when he took care of a younger Ivan. It felt like so long ago.

"Don't treat me like a child anymore," Ivan stated bitterly, slapping the hand away. He was acting petulant, crossing his arms, and tossing the box carelessly to the side. Pushing the blankets to the side, Yao leaned down to pick up the box. Sensing that Ivan was in a bad mood, he decided to cheer up the Russian. This was a rare occasion, since Yao usually hated Ivan's guts. He still did ... but he had after all raised Ivan. So his motherly nature was not easy to crush.

"Oh what's this?" Yao asked as he untied the ribbons. Ivan observed him quietly with his hooded, guarded eyes. When he opened it, Yao assumed he understood. A grin crossed Yao's face. "You sly fox you! Have you been crushing on a woman?" Yao's dense assumption only worsened Ivan's mood.

Really, for such a 'wise' nation, how could he be so freaking dense?! Ivan did a face palm.

"Are you upset because she rejected you? There there," Yao soothed as he patted Ivan's head. Another major headache was appearing in Ivan's head.

"Have you forgotten that I like you?" His stony voice stilled Yao, freezing him.

"Uhh ... I don't ... " Yao was at a loss of words, not sure how to respond in this situation.

"Really. You frustrate me to end." Grumbling, he stood up and stretched his arms. Without a word, he walked to Yao's bedroom, and fell onto the bed with a heavy oomph, the down blanket having an indention around his frame.

He was face down in the clean pillow that had the scent of laundry detergent. This bed was a much better improvement from the bed Yao had a long time ago. He remembered in the expensive Shanghai two floor place, his bed had always spelled of tea, and that British man. He hated it, when he was a child, he'd make a mess of Yao's bed. He'd always be scolded afterward. So much had changed.

Ivan pulled off his jacket and threw it on the floor, he turned on his side and settled in the bed. Yao sat beside him. "What are you doing? Sleep in your own bed," Yao said, trying to pull the heavy man off his bed.

"No, I don't want to get my bed dirty. I haven't taken a shower yet," He pouted childishly and burrowed further in the bed.

"Hey! That's rude! Then go take a shower." Yao nagged.

"No, I'm too tired right now." Ivan's long arms reached out to pull the smaller man to his chest, burying the flustered face into his broad chest. "Isn't this nice? Why can't you be this tame all the time?" He sighed.

"Hey! Let me go!" Yao objected by thrashing about, pushing him away, but to no avail. Ivan's arms were like a unyielding vise around him. Giving up, he laid there like a deflated balloon.

Content, Ivan laid there with his favorite person in the world in his arms. Right now, he had no worries. Before, he was extremely concerned about his future engagement, and attending the fancy social gathering. Now, he wasn't worried. Yao seemed to be in a good mood lately. He would bring Yao along, and Yao would comfort him. Or so he hoped.

Closing his eyes, Ivan began to hum a Russian lullaby someone sang to him a long time ago. He could barely remember their name, or their face. He didn't really like to remember things before Yao. His little Yao was becoming tired also at the lulling tone. His body went slack, and he started to slip back into sleep. This was a rare moment, where the two weren't fighting, or Ivan wasn't persistently trying to get in Yao's pants.

Relaxed, Ivan's hand rested underneath the pillow, only to find an oddly shaped object.

He pulled it out, confusion and suspicion marring his face. He opened the box, to find tiny yellowed notes of paper, a small photograph, and a string of pearls. Ivan looked at it, and his blood froze. Of course. In the faded photograph, there stood Yao in his silk dress, sitting in Arthur's lap, who wore his officer's uniform. They seemed so happy together.

He picked up the strand of pearls, which somehow, set him off. Could he not win at anything? As if it wasn't enough that Arthur was most important in Yao's heart, he had beaten him to everything. Even beat him at buying a stupid piece of jewelry. He wished, if only, he was born earlier. If only he was an adult and met Yao first.

Ivan sat up abruptly, which caused Yao to wake up again at the abrupt movement. "What is it aru?" Yao asked with a slightly irritated tone.

"Why do you still think of him?" Ivan asked with an icy smile, his hand that held the string of pearl necklaces snapped, round pearls scattering on the grey stone floor. Yao's heart broke, and he fought the urge to lean down and pick them up.

Yao didn't address the question, for he didn't really have a definite answer. "They were important to me." Yao stated simply, repressing most of the anger that bubbled inside of him.

* * *

The shattering of the bottle was deafening in the silence. Yao felt primal fear creep deeply into him, his stomach rolling sickly. This was much more scary. Ivan was drunk, his violence sheerly held back, his insanity on the brink.

Silently, Ivan had knocked back bottle after bottle, a pile of empty bottles rolling on the floor by his feet. Finally, Yao was so worried that he tossed the bottle aside. "Stop it already!" He shouted. A glare passed through Ivan's eyes.

"Damn it Yao," He roughly pulled the dark brown hair up with his hand. Yao winced at the painful position, his neck craning up to look at the Russian. With his brute strength, he pushed Yao down on his knees, tying his hands together with the white scarf. His knees dug painfully into the ground.

"Tell me you love me," Ivan demanded. "Just say those words, and I'll treat you like a princess." Yao said nothing, but his eyes shifted away from Ivan's face. He laughed at Yao's obstinate manner. Yao's mouth was set tightly in a line.

"What, do you like when I treat you roughly like this?" Ivan asked with a scary grin, his violet eyes glimmering with sadism. His little Yao Yao had driven him to his wit's end.

His passion was unbridled, and bordered a bit on obsessive. He carried a protesting Yao over his shoulder and roughly shoved Yao onto the bed, tearing the shirt off. The buttons scattered onto the floor, and Yao looked back with a bewildered expression. "Ivan, what the hell? You crazy bastard!" He exclaimed.

A glare passed in the darkening violet eyes, and he raised his hand. Yao squeezed his eyes shut, expecting a blow, but instead, he heard the sound of a pillow being torn instead. He slowly opened his eyes, to see feathers floating in the air like snow. Ivan had a knife in his hand, which had torn a slash in the pillow. The feathers floating around Ivan, were unfitting, since he appeared as a demon filthy with sin. Yet he was still so handsome.

"Yao Yao, don't push me. I would hate to scar your beautiful face," He cooed while lightly running the sharp edge of the knife on Yao's cheek.

"You're insane," Yao said resentfully.

"Please forgive me for the sin I'm about to commit." His eyes seemed solemn, the only human feature he had left.

"I will never forgive you, for as long as I live." Yao spat back angrily, tears of rage shimmering in his burning amber eyes.

"Don't judge me too harshly." He hastily undid his belt, the metal buckle making a clinking sound. He loosened his tie, and appraised the fearful Yao for a moment. Every time, it still took his breath away. Yao's skin was like a blanket of pure snow, and yet .. his fingers brushed against the bare chest. It was always so warm. Every time, he felt like he was dirtying the pure body, even though he knew Yao was far from "pure." Looks were so deceiving.

With every rough thrust, Yao tears flowed steadily down his cheeks. A sob wracked in his chest at the pain of being ripped wide so open, Ivan had been merciless, ruthlessly entering him. There was no end, Yao struggled to breathe, beginning to hyperventilate.

He plundered the tiny hole, not allowing Yao to collect himself. Yao thought he would go insane, there was nothing but the constant feeling of being pounded into, his body was limp and lifeless, loosing all it's energy. It laid there, allowing Ivan to take whatever he wanted. Ashamed, Yao covered his face with his hands.

"No." Ivan pinned Yao's wrists above Yao's head. He saw a miserable face, with tears and snot messily running down his face. People saw Yao as a perfect being, the prettiest boy. Ivan was pleased to know that he was knew that Yao was vulnerable, and that he was the one who was able to bring Yao to tears so easily.

* * *

When Yao awoke from his unconsciousness, he found scattered pearls, illuminated by the moonlight mixed with the buttons. Sniffling, and crossing his arms to keep himself warm, he lightly jumped off the bed.

He let of a cry when his wobbling feet touched the ground, his body crumpled uselessly. Tears pricked at his eyes in frustration, at being so pathetic. How many times had a man taken him like that? He limped all the way to the shower, his hips emanating pain.

Breathing heavily, he almost collapsed in the shower, he leaned onto the wall, turning one the multiple shower heads. The heated water was like heaven against his sore body.

The white seed and blood dripped from down his thighs, swirling down the drain. No mater how hard he scrubbed, he could not get rid of the bruises, the love marks, and teeth marks. It appeared as if someone was trying to devour him. Which was sort of true.

Yao slid against the white marble wall, the shower heads spraying steaming water onto his skin. He shuddered, and wrapped his arms around his knees. Pulling his knees to his chest, he was a curled up ball of hurt and confusion.

He bit back the tears that so desperately wanted to flow. He didn't know what he felt anymore, he was so frustrated. Why did he constantly allow himself be demeaned in this way? He was a man. One that should be strong, yet he was again at the mercy of a perverted man. They were all so kind, what happened? They'd all turn so cold and cruel.

Where had he gone wrong? Was everything his fault? Did he bring upon his own misfortune? He thought to himself, hiding his face in his knees, his hair flowing around him.

It was frustrating. He said he wouldn't love anyone anymore. So why did he keep remembering Arthur? He wasn't his first love, no, it was all an illusion. It ached, so much more than the bodily wounds that marred his skin.

Wounds of love scattered, each trying to claim the fragile precious doll for themselves. What selfish men. Why was his love so painful, he wondered?

Finally, he turned off the handles with a squeak, and stood there, the water dripping from hs sore body onto the stone floor.

When he stepped out of the shower, and into his bedroom, he was prepared to kill Ivan when he saw Ivan still sitting there on the bed. He thought that Ivan had left! Ivan sat there, with his head hung in his hands, his pants still low around his hips. His shirt was loose and unbuttoned, showing off his taut, stomach muscles.

If Yao wasn't so damn frightened, he would've thought it was sexy.

"I'm sorry," Ivan said remorsefully, when he peeked up cautiously at Yao's scared face, he was utterly miserable. Back to square one. Damn it.

"Saying sorry won't fix what has happened." Yao said bitterly, tightening the towel around himself. Water dripped from the ends of his hair. He turned his back, and started to change quickly, pulling a cotton shirt over his head. He winced at the uncomfortable feeling when he raised his arms.

Ivan sighed deeply. "Very well." He was suddenly very somber and aware of what he had done. He made no excuses for himself. "I'll leave this here. Remember, we're leaving for the countryside tomorrow." Without another word, Ivan left the room, shutting the door with a soft click.

Yao turned to look at the bed, there was a tube of healing cream for his bottom, pain medicine, sleep medicine, and a bowl of soup.

It wasn't fair. Ivan shouldn't be so conflicting. He should be a villain with no feelings, no remorse of guilt. He didn't have the right to be so concerned about him. Yao was completely confused on what to feel, unease unsettling his wavering heart.


	3. Chapter 2

_**Cool songs for this chapter:**_

_**Spring Sonata First Movement - Beethoven**_

_**Home - Tablo ( Feat. Lee Sora )**_

_**Spring Sonata Second Movement - Beethoven**_

_**They Are Coming - Wheesung ( Feat. Ailee) **_

* * *

**CHAPTER 2**

The car ride to the secluded countryside mansion was far, and Ivan settled in the leather seats. He rested his chin in his hand, looking out the window. They were holding a dinner party, where he would mingle with other clients and wealthy business owners. He was to meet his fiance tonight He was extremely stressed, he had only met her once as a child. Ivan shuddered at the memory, he had not been a good one. It didn't help that Yao was being so distant.

He glanced at the sullen Yao, who sat as close as possible by the car window. He looked prepared to jump if the large Russian man tried to go a little bit closer than him. Ivan sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his hand. "Yao, are you going to be like this for the entire week we're here?" He asked with exasperation as if tired of trying to communicate with a grumpy child.

Yao didn't answer, instead his bottom lip stuck out even more into a pout, and he turned his face towards the window. In the reflection of the window, Ivan could see Yao's displeasure. If he was a cat, his fur would be bristled, for he was on edge. Who wouldn't be, after being treated so roughly. Yao was always a bit cautious of others to begin with.

Ivan sighed heavily and muttered a Russian curse under his breath. The car was silently racing throughout the scenic Russian countryside. There was only the sound of the hum of machinery.

When they arrived to the driveway of the country estate, there was a large wrought iron gate, with acres of land stretching about. The trees lines the pathway, and the car drove a couple more miles before finally reaching the huge mansion.

Servants were lined by the unwound carpet, bowing their heads deeply. Men in uniforms hurried to unload the luggage and open the door.

"Welcome home Mr. Braginski." They echoed.

* * *

"Natalia Alfroskaya is here to see you." A groomed butler introduced to an anxious Ivan. The butler opened the wooden doors, and Ivan raked his hair back out of his eyes.

An attractive young woman stepped into the private drawing room, wearing a sapphire designer dress that was had ruffles at the top, falling off her shoulders. The dress had a voluminous skirt of some expensive material. A shiny diamond necklace graced her neck, her ashen blonde hair cascading past her shoulders. She had a matching sapphire bow in her hair, her crystal clear blue eyes looked back expectantly at the man across from her.

Ivan had a strained smile on his face. He felt suffocating in his stuffy suit. He knelt on one knee and pressed a kiss to her gloved hand. "Ivan, you are doing well, da?" She asked softly.

"Yes, I am Natalia." He answered. The butler had opened the glass doors to the garden, so that the breeze carried the scent of gardenias. "Would you like to talk on the terrace?" He asked politely, gesturing outside. There was a impeccable garden outside, with bright green shrubbery and pretty flowers that were in bloom. Strings of light were strung about, with the fountain lights on.

"That would be lovely," She said and let the tall Russian man lead her outside.

Politely, Ivan pulled back the chair for Natalia. On the table were small white candles that contribute to the romantic atmosphere. Smiling, she took her seat, her skirt flowing around her like endless waves. "It has been such a long time. We were children when we last saw each other."

"We were. So I'd like to discuss -" He was silenced by Natalia's finger, her nails were painted a navy blue.

"We have all night for that." Her lips curled into a smile. "Why don't we attend the party?"

Ivan nodded, and escorted Natalia to the party, even though he wanted to see his grumpy little kitten.

The party was very refined, with an orchestra playing classical music. The chandeliers were lit, and the tall windows were open out onto the various balconies. Scents from the flowers carried into the ballroom from the night breeze.

Ivan looked around nervously, and sighed a breath of relief when he did not see his mother. It was always such a pain to deal with her.

There was polite chatter between important dignitaries, and business men all around the world. Women hung on the men's arms like candy, glittering from all their shiny jewelry. However, the one that outshone them all was the oriental beauty who drank in solitude.

He was dressed like a female, dolled up in a way that Ivan so enjoyed. His silky hair fell around his shoulders, he wore a European dress this time, which was a bright berry red. His lips were painted the same color, and string of pearls hung around his neck. The pearls were given to him by Ivan. He tugged on the pearls unhappily, and tipped a sweet martini to his lips.

Why was he forced to attend the party? He wanted to sleep in his room, not attend this stuffy party. His heart sunk to the bottom of his stomach when he saw the smiling couple greeting others. The woman was named Natalia, and was Ivan's fiance.

See, that's great. Be normal and go out with her. Yao thought to himself. Yao glumly rested his hand on his cheek. He once had dreams too.

He was pulled from his thoughts when a hand knocked over his martini. Annoyed, he looked up to find himself face to face with Natalia. "Sorry." She said mockingly, not sounding sorry at all. Ivan stepped from behind Natalia, looking refined and attractive in his expensive tailored suit.

"How degenerate." Natalia said haughtily, her nose upturned in the air as she looked down upon Yao. Yao's hands balled up into fists at his sides, his slender frame shaking slightly. Ivan shifted, preparing to stand up and defend his beloved Yao. "You truly ruin the atmosphere with your presence."

Yao grinned. "You're looking very uptight yourself." He answered jokingly, with coldness laced behind his voice.

Ivan had a had a glare in his eyes, as he grasped Natalia's wrist tightly. "Let's talk in private," He stated with a set jaw. Natalia smiled coyly in return, her blue eyes glinting underneath her long lashes.

"Very well." The picture perfect pair left the ballroom, leaving Yao feeling unwanted and awkward. He sighed and returned to his private corner, resuming his drinks.

"Hello there doll," A very drunk man took the seat next to Yao. Yao inwardly sighed, here came a trouble maker. "Let me get yooouuu a drink." He slurred, his eyes unfocusing a bit.

"No thank you." Yao declined as politely as he could manage.

"Now, now don't be like that." When the man's meaty, sweaty palm reached for Yao's butt, Yao cleverly ducked and slapped him. A red hand print formed on the man's cheek.

Perhaps because he was drunk off his mind, the man simply laughed. "Feisty huh? You're Ivan's treasured mistress huh?"

"Mistress? No!" Yao was offended and enraged.

"You must be lonely now that Ivan is marrying Natalia. Will he have time to pamper you, little mistress? I can take care of your needs." He winked.

Dismissing the last remark, his ears perked at a certain word. "Marrying? Ivan is getting engaged?" Yao asked softly. He remembered thinking that they would make a cute couple, but the prospect of them actually getting married made him feel uneasy and strange. Ivan used to be such an adorable, darling child that would follow him everywhere like a duckling. Yao would dote on the once innocent Ivan, what the hell happened?

"... I didn't know." Yao stated, raking the hair out of his eyes.

The man guffawed and laughed so hard he almost fell off the tall stool. "That's one of the main reasons for this gathering. Everyone's talking about it." He said.

"Hm. I see, excuse me." Yao stood up, and picked up the rest of the colorful martini from the shiny, wooden bar top table. He knocked it down, and then went off to search for Ivan. He suddenly wanted to see Ivan.

* * *

A velvet curtain hung around them in the richly decorated private room, a tray of refreshments and drinks on the table. The small chandelier in the space lit up the room, the two people were sitting quite close together. They sat facing each other at a small, round table in upright chairs. This tiny room overlooked the ballroom, dancing people twirling and spinning.

"I understand that you don't like me. That you don't like this arrangement." She gracefully picked up a flute of sparkling champagne and brought it to her glossy lips. She drank from it, leaving behind a print of her lip gloss color on the glass.

"However, what do you take me for? A fool? You thought I would run away just because you're in love with a Chinese transvestite who doesn't love you back?" She asked with sarcasm dripping thick in her voice.

Ivan's hand tightened on the arm rest he was gripping, yet he retained his poise. "No, I was planning on tricking you into thinking Yao was a girl. Unfortunately, you saw through his guise. The very first, I might add."

"Honestly Ivan, think about this. This marriage is beneficial to both of our families. It's just for appearances anyway, no one else will know if we have our own lovers, as long as we attend those boring functions together, and bear a son for them, they could care less. You can the rest of your time with that ... _she-male." _Natalia's nose wrinkled in distaste again.

"Ivan, what do you see in him? Someone like you ... oh it's such a waste." She shook her head with disappointment, and stared intensely at him with her blue eyes. With a beguiling smile, her pearly whites flashing, her clever little hand ran up Ivan's thigh. Stiffening uncomfortably, Ivan cleared his throat.

When the hand traveled even further, he stood up abruptly. The chair fell to the floor, and Natalia simply grinned. "That's enough. Let's return for dinner -" Natalia also got up from her chair, and with her skirts rustling, she kissed Ivan. Surprised, Ivan's reflex was to push her away, but she held him firm.

"If you don't comply, I'll scream so loudly, that it'll ruin your family, your image." She threatened calmly. Ivan grit his teeth, and he aggressively grabbed Natalia's long, ashen blonde locks roughly. He smashed their lips together, kissing her so coldly, that their teeth clinked against one another.

Natalia returned the roughness, her hands wounding up around the taller man, as they continued their make out session. Her lips trailed down his neck, and her hand reached to grasp his staff. Taking a sharp inhale of breath, he fought the urge to throw Natalia across the room. She quickly unzipped Ivan's pants and pulled his impressive staff out.

Using her long fingernails, she got him half way erect. She gave a test lick, and Ivan hated his body for betraying him this way.

Unknown to the two people who were currently having a dominance power play and screwing with each other mind's, Yao was searching through the second floors for Ivan. For one, he was worried ( not that he'd ever admit this to himself) and two, his was curious. Would Ivan yell at Natalia? What were they discussing?

When he pulled aside the velvet curtain, he was so shocked, he was silent. His mouth hung agape and his eyes bugged out slightly. He clamped his hand over his mouth. Ivan had his back on the wall, his face titled up to the ceiling with his eyes screwed shut. He was breathing heavily, and all he could see was the back of an ashen blonde head dutifully sucking on _something. _

He backed away, and ran from the party, his berry colored full skirts swishing around him as he escaped like a broken princess. The clock had struck midnight, it made him realize, he was just a guy in a dress. He was someone's whore, and his dreams of meeting his prince would not come true. His happy ending seemed nonexistent, and shelter from this storm seemed far away.

* * *

A tall, strong man with blonde hair slicked back ducked away from the party. He had on glasses, with charming blue eyes, and a bright million watt smile. In his hand he had a hamburger, and he had slipped away from his annoyingly uptight older brother.

He was glad he had escaped from that stuffy atmosphere. Not only was it a meeting of sorts, but it was also going to announced at the week end party, that Natalia and Ivan would be engaged. Everyone knew already though.

The man was spacing out, when he heard the sound of harsh breathing. His eyes widened, when he saw the figure of a gorgeous beauty with dark hair flash by, with her red skirts fluttering around her.

His mouth hung agape, and lettuce and tomatoes started to fall on his shirt. "Shit!" He exclaimed, taking off the expensive black blazer, and trying to get rid of the stain in his crumple white button up shirt.

"Who was that?" A faint blush dusted across his cheeks.

* * *

Yao ran to god who knows where, the twisting and turning passages led him to a unfamiliar place. He slowed down, and leaned against the wall, sliding onto the floor. He had no idea where he was. There were large, grand portraits of the Braginski family. They came from some royal blood of some sort, their ancestors seemed so wealthy.

He saw that there was a door slightly open. Curious, he got up and investigated. Inside, was a large room with a grand piano sitting in the middle of the room, set across a background of tall, floor length windows. Outside, was a quiet serene garden, with the faint sound of night birds. On the other wall, was a huge wall covered in books and music sheets. There was a small table with a lamp, and two chairs seated next to the small table.

An impish grin spread across his face, and he quickly seated himself across the bench. Yao gave a tiny test with his finger, for it had been a while since he last played. Arthur had taught him a long time ago. When it gave a satisfying ring, he played a scale. Exhilarated by the familiarity, he played many scales, his hands remembering the motions.

He found a stack of music scores beside the piano bench, and a few supporting the wobbly grand piano leg. He found it ironic, that even though this mansion was so large and luxurious, they had neglected this poor piano.

Yao picked one up, and after flipping through the music pieces, he settled on one that seemed simple enough for him to play. So, slowly, he delved deeply into the piano playing, which settled his fraying nerves. However, the more he played, he started to remember.

The image of Natalia and Ivan flashed through his mind unwelcomingly. "Ughh!" The pleasant sounds ended abruptly with the crashing of multiple keys. His fingers were spread out across the keys, he stood up, and the bench had been pushed back.

A large pale hand snatched up the piano book. He saw that the hand was connected to an arm, and a shoulder... there was the face of an amused Ivan. "What did the piano ever do to you?" He asked.

"You've already taken so much from me!" He shouted as threw the music sheets carelessly away, they fluttered to the ground. His silky hair blew back from his face and his amber eyes were enraged. "Will you also take away the time I get to play piano?! Such a simple thing, yet you'd rob me of this simple pleasure."

"Stop overreacting. Are you drunk?" Ivan teased as he reached touch Yao. Yao smacked his hand away.

"No. You're always interupting me, and _sucking _away all the fun!" He exclaimed in anger, his cheeks bright red. Ivan was a little confused as to why Yao put so much emphasis on the word, _suck. _He didn't understand why Yao was lashing out at him so much!

Oh wait. A little light bulb went off in his head. Was Yao angry about him marrying Natalia? If so, then Ivan would be extremely happy that Yao was jealous. What other reason could there be, Ivan thought to himself.

"Hold on a minute. This isn't about the damn piano, is it? Yao! What the hell is up with you?!" Ivan demanded, expecting an answer.

"Everything bothers you! You don't even really care!" Yao continued to shout.

What bothers me is that the only thing that goes on in your brain is that opium bastard! But you know what? If you're so pissed off about what I think, then why do you care if I marry Natalia or not?" Ivan shouted back.

"I don't! It's annoys me how you'd lie to yourself! You don't even love Natalia!"

"No I don't! I love you!" Ivan replied with vexation.

"I hate you!" Yao continued to shout, tears of frustration and anger dripping down, he threw objects at Ivan in an attempt to blow off all the pent up anger.

"That's too bad ... because I really like you." He said as he dodged all the incoming flying books. They each crashed against the wall, and one knocked over the lamp. Yao had a frenzied look in his eyes, as he was very confused and upset.

"STOP IT!" Yao shouted angrily, his face flushed as he pushed away the arms that reached for him. He turned his sorrowful face to the side, his eyes closing to calm himself.

"I like you," He pressed a kiss to Yao's forehead.

"Liar," Yao's chest shuddered.

"I like you," Ivan placed a kiss each on Yao's closed eyelids.

"Liar," Yao's composure was slipping even further from his control. Like a vessel that was bursting forth with multiple holes, causing it to overflow with leaks.

"I like you," Ivan repeated, placing a kiss on the tip of Yao's perfect nose.

"Ivan, I don't want your damn pearls." Yao stated suddenly, tugging on the necklace, and placing it in Ivan's hands.

"Eh? What's wrong with them? They're much better than the ones you had before. They're to replace the ones I broke." Ivan's brow furrowed together.

"That's not the point. If it's not from him then ..." He trailed off, his eyes lowering to the floor. "Then it's no good."

Ivan angrily punched the window behind Yao, and gritted his teeth. "Damn it Yao," He said and left the room quickly. He didn't want a repeat of last time, so he left.

* * *

The next morning, Yao was like a deflated balloon at breakfast. He picked at his toast, looking listlessly off into the distance.

Ivan was worried, but he had no time to intervene. For he was literally buried in negotiations, setting up business contracts, talking about future plans. Every single second of his time here was planned, and Ivan had no time alone. If he wasn't talking with clients or business partners, then Natalia was with him, with her bright smile that fooled everyone.

Somehow this was all worse than seeing Yao lash out at him. For days, Yao had stayed in his room passively, staring out into empty space. He had refused to eat, laying on his side in the bed everyday.

Deep on the inside, Yao knew the reason why he had become so irritated at Ivan's presence. It was because Ivan reminded him so much of himself when he was young. He used to be the same way, cold and detached. A man of power to the core, relentlessly chasing after something he desired.

He didn't want Ivan to turn out the way he did. He cringed at the memory of him shouting at Ivan. He had sounded like a jealous girlfriend or something! He hid his face underneath the pillow in shame.

Deciding he couldn't mope around in his room forever, he decided to explore. After getting bored, he found himself back at the piano room. The grand piano had been fixed and tuned, restoring it to it's former glory.

So, for the rest of the afternoon, Yao lost himself again in that wonderful thing called music.

* * *

Yawning, the man from the previous night stretched his arms. He had already helped himself to the breakfast buffet, and was taking a walk to help his food digest. Afterwards, he'd go back to his computer, and stayed glued there.

A pleasant sound emanated down the sunny hall, drawn like a moth to a flame, the tall blonde man with glasses went towards the music.

Oh, what a lovely sight. He lingered by the doorway, admiring the beauty. Dark hair was gently tousled by the breeze that flowed through the open windows. The white sheer curtains billowed in the background. In the spacious, lavish room, there was only a grand piano at it's center. Seated at the bench, with delicate long fingers flying across the keys, was a foreign Eastern beauty.

His honey, liquid eyes seemed to look faraway, as if reliving memories. The stranger in the doorway, held his hand to his heart, holding his breath. It was the same person he saw running in the hall last night!

There was so emotion flooding with each note. It was alive, the sounds full and rounded, filling the room warmly. He gasped as he noticed clear tears dripping onto the keys. Yao whispered a word longingly, his pink soft lips forming a word. It was so quiet that the man listening could not decipher what the word was. The music ceased, and the beauty buried his face into his slender hands. The small shoulders shook.

Without thinking it through, he entered the room.

"Oh, that's so beautiful." The man complimented, taken away the sheer beauty that played the music. Yao looked up curiously, and his breath was taken away. "Arthur?" He tilted his head to the side. A heart breakingly bright, grand smile lit up his face as he stood up from the piano bench. He ran towards the figure, his arms wrapping around the man's neck.

The person was surprised, but wrapped his arms back around the smaller porcelain doll. When Yao pulled away, he was crest fallen. No, it wasn't Arthur. Those eyes weren't green, but blue. "Oh, I'm sorry." Embarrassed, he pulled away. The man was disappointed for he enjoyed the soft feeling of Yao's body.

Why hadn't he seen the differences before? It was so obvious they weren't the same person. This man obviously didn't have a British accent. Arthur was paler, he was tanner.

He was a bit taller, and more broad, with more muscles. While Arthur shared the same slender physique as Yao, it was clear that this man did not.

"No, it's okay." He reassured with a friendly smile. "I'm Arthur's younger brother. Pleased to meet you, I'm Alfred. Who are you?" He extended his hand for a handshake.

"Yao," He replied to shake hands with the amiable person.

"I'm from an American business, my family sent here to mingle and make connections." He sighed dramatically. "It's really hard work, they're all so uptight."

"Oh? Is that so? By any chance ... " Yao trailed off when he heard a distant voice, that was becoming louder with every footstep.

"ALFRED! Bloody hell, where've you gone?" The flustered British man that Yao had been longing for had appeared, out of breath, even more so when he spotted the Oriental beauty. Familiar feelings washed over the both of them. They were so many things they wanted to do and say.

However, at the moment they were dumbfounded.

The wind blew through strongly, the curtains billowed in the wind, with flower petals from the gardens outside falling around them. Yao's golden amber eyes widened in surprise, as he met those pale green eyes that caught the sun that he loved so much.

"Yao ..."

"Arthur..."

They said at the same time. At that very moment, it was as if they were the only two people which existed in the world, safely tucked away in that gentle atmosphere of their's. It was not easy to intrude upon their meeting, and was very obvious it was intimate even just by glancing at them.


	4. Chapter 3

**Songs for this chapter:**

**Honeymoon Avenue - Ariana Grande **

**Puccini - Crisantemi **

**You Look Good - Verbal Jint **

**I Miss You - Ayur **

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

Fluttering light pink blossoms scattered over the stunned pair, they had that stilled expression of longing. The breeze calmed down, and coated the floor in a soft white carpet of flower petals. The petals mingled with their hair.

"Umm hello? I'm still here," Alfred teased, breaking the romantic atmosphere. Arthur cleared his throat as Yao turned his face in embarrassment. Alfred looked back and forth between curiously, trying to figure out their relationship. How was it possible his bushy eyed older brother who had imaginary friends, was associated with this beautiful person?

"Alfred, could you please give us a moment alone?" Arthur asked, behind clenched teeth to his nosy brother.

"No, I don't want to. I want to to stay and talk too ..." Arthur had pushed Alfred out with his hands, shutting the door behind him. "Sorry about that," He apologized.

"No, it's fine." Yao smiled. Arthur's heart melted at the sight of that smile.

Arthur was wearing one of those formal suits, he was tall and slender. He leaned down on one knee to kiss Yao's hand, his green eyes looking up to meet the warm amber ones.

Unknown to the pair of smitten people, Alfred was being nosy and peeking through a crack in the door. He was extremely curious about their relationship. How in the world did they know each other?! And if Arthur knew such an awesome person, why didn't Arthur introduce him?! His ear was also pressed against the door.

"Yao, um how have you been these past years?" Arthur asked, at a loss of words. He found it so difficult to speak, he had forgotten how effective Yao's beauty was at screwing up all logical thought that went through his brain. His tongue felt heavy, and his hands ached to touch Yao.

Yao's heart fluttered frantically like a butterfly trying to fly for the first time. "F-fine. How about you?"

Arthur nervously tugged at his suffocating tie. When did it get so hot in the room? His lips were suddenly dry, and his throat scratchy. His palms were sweaty, and he found it difficult to speak. Why did he loose his composure? He was never nervous! Except ... that he was right now.

"Yao ... " Arthur said the name tentatively, testing the familiar name on his tongue. It tumbled with a broken uneven voice, but even so, it still caused Yao's heart to twinge at the familiar sound.

"Yes?" He answered breathlessly, his golden eyes shining hopefully, his chest filled to the brim with warmth.

"Umm..." He awkwardly held his hands out. His face reddened like a tomato as Yao tilted his head to the side curiously. "I-is it okay if I ..." He tried to ask. Damn, why was it so embarrassing to ask now? He had seen every crevice and inch of Yao's body, so why were they acting like virgins? It was like they were in love all over again.

Yao also blushed. He nodded, and allowed Arthur to wrap his arms around him. The two embraced lovingly just like that, by the bright window with the sun warming them. Their hair glistened, the two held each other with tenderness. Yao's head fit underneath Arthur's chin, just like always. Arthur stroked Yao's hair, lightly taking the tie out of his hair and freeing the silky strands to flow over Yao's shoulders.

No words were needed, they communicated how much they missed each other through their actions. Their heartaches were all soothed by this tender embrace. It was so unbearably sweet, that one would have a cavity in their teeth just by glancing upon them.

There was a rosy atmosphere of quietness and serenity, the blush of some amorous emotion.

Sighing, Alfred finally closed the small crack in the door he was peeking through. Even he felt like a complete outsider and intruder at their intimate reunion, and felt as if he was intruding on the unplanned meeting. Alfred knew his brother could be kind when he wished, but he had never seen Arthur quite that gooey. It was as if posh, uptight British exterior had all melted into a puddle of mush.

They seemed so content in each other's arms. The door closed softly with a click, leaving the two lovers alone in their own world.

* * *

"I'm sorry that Arthur wasn't able to spend anymore time with you. He's really busy meeting and socializing with the other dignitaries." Alfred apologized on behalf of his brother. What a waste! They had finally seen each other after so long, and Arthur was too busy.

"It's fine." Yao smiled politely. "Why aren't you making business connections either?" He joked.

"I'd much rather spend time with you. You're much more interesting than those uptight guys." Alfred elbowed Yao, and they both laughed. "Besides, I don't really like doing that. Interacting with those superficial people." He continued.

"Oh, I'm sorry that you have to deal with them every day." Yao said.

The two of them were sitting on the edge of a pool. "I'd much rather design and build things. I'm sort of a nerd, I like video games." Alfred said with a charming smile that was oddly a-dork-able. Yao laughed again. The two sat there side by side, in a companionable silence, since the conversation had taken a lull.

Their toes dipped in the refreshing water of the pool, as they observed the peaceful scenery laid out before them. The glass pool had half of it hanging off a tall hill, with bounds of grassy lands and trees scattered beyond the countryside. A care free breeze blew through, caressing their hair. Alfred kept glancing at Yao's beautiful face, which was looking off into the distance longingly.

Their pants were rolled up, as their feet idly splashed the water. There were lounge chairs awaiting with towels, and a tray of drinks.

"You know, it's strange that my brother didn't mention you." Alfred brought up.

"Well, I guess maybe I just wasn't worth mentioning." Yao laughed lightly, his eyebrows furrowed together. Despite his happiness, doubt clouded his mind. Logical thought blocked his rash side that wanted to immediately return to Arthur's side. He was hesitant and wary, things never worked out this well. Sooner or later, he'd have to pay for the short time of happiness. Perhaps he was being cynical or negative, but he'd been through too many experiences to allow himself to repeat past mistakes.

Alfred put his large hands on Yao's slender shoulders, his face was serious as he stared at him with those sparkling blue eyes. "Don't say that. You're very important."

"How long have you known my brother?" Alfred asked with curiosity burning inside of him.

"I've known Arthur for a very long time." Yao's voice was lightly laced with a Chinese accent, which somehow made it very alluring. He said the name Arthur gently, his amber eyes softened, and a smile graced his lips. Somehow, it made Alfred's heart ache and his head spin. He wanted Yao to say his name like that.

Yes, Arthur was a very important, valued person to Yao. In his heart, he had a weakness and soft spot for the seemingly detached, polite British gentleman. He scoured Yao's dirty, dull life with his brightness. It made him feel, normal, clean, and most of all, happy.

Noticing Yao's daydreaming expression, he was tempted to play a little harmless prank. Discreetly, he cupped a handful of water and squirted it at Yao. Startled at first, he simply sat there stunned, his eyes wide open and his mouth hung agape.

Then a bright smile curled over his lips. Teasingly, he splashed the water back at Alfred. "Ah! Cold!" He exclaimed, shaking water droplets out of his golden hair. They both shivered and laughed as they splashed the icy water on each other in cooling air. With a devilish mischievous grin, Alfred picked Yao up and threw him in the pool.

"Ahh!" Uncontrollable laughter spilled from Yao, and he had the most adorable expression as he wiped the water out of his face. With sparkling eyes, he pulled Alfred's ankle, pulling him into the pool with him.

Unbeknowst to the chattering pair, there was a spectator to this amiable scene. Above the pool, was a window which curtain fluttered ever so subtly. A pair of distressed violet eyes, and an icy frown. No longer able to bear the jealously, he turned his face away and let the curtain fall back in place.

* * *

"Yao, I'll go get you a change of clothes okay?" Alfred said with a huge grin, toweling himself off.

"Okay, I'll wait here." Yao said smiling, as he lightly squeezed the water out of his hair. Alfred rubbed his arms and then jogged towards the building. Feeling content, Yao looked off at the distance. The sky was darkening, the stars had started to appear. They were beautiful, sparkling distant lights twinkling in their constellations. He tilted his head, his wet hair falling over his shoulders. He thought he would almost go dizzy admiring the expansive night sky.

Breifly, it flashed through his mind that Ivan's hair was similar to the stars. He didn't know why, but an image of Ivan as a star also passed through his mind. He giggled at the thought of the cold, tough tall Russian in a silly star suit.

Ah, it was nice. He hadn't messed around like this in a while. The last time he'd had this much innocent fun with a friend, he was probably a young child.

When he breathed, little puffs of white air appeared before him. Yao jumped a little bit when he felt heavy strong arms wrap around his midsection. The warm, sturdy feeling was comfortable and he stopped shuddering. The large hands started to lightly dry him off with the fluffy towel. Yao would usually protest at this touch, but right now he was too tired to fight. The drying paused, and the towel was draped over his shoulders.

He gave in, and leaned in closer to the large, strong body behind him. "Ivan," He murmered sleepily, his damp cheek resting on Ivan's jacket. In response, the arms around his tiny waist tightened. Ivan leaned down his lips brushing over the shell of Yao's ear.

"Did you play too hard today?" He chuckled. He loved _his _Yao, who was similar to a difficult yet utterly adorable independent kitten. These rare moments were all too cute, and although he hated to admit it, the Russian man was a sucker for him.

"Nn," Yao gave a small sound as an answer, snuggling even closer to Ivan. Ivan nose skimmed a strand of Yao's hair, which was now permeated with the harsh smell of chlorine. He frowned. Later, he'd have to clean Yao's hair with those fancy floral shampoos he bought in France.

His rough large hands ran over Yao's arms, chasing away the goosebumps. They then ran over Yao's stomach, cherishing the feel of Yao's supple skin. They roamed everywhere, while at the same time drying off Yao's damp body.

Yao's breathing slowed at the comforting feeling of being enveloped in warmth. He was currently lodged between Ivan's knees, and his head reached only Ivan's chest. He was so tiny in comparison. His hands were curled loosely, his chest rising and falling very slowly.

Noticing that Yao was getting too tired, he picked up Yao in his arms princess style. As he did this, he heard the faint sound of footsteps. He turned in the direction of the sound to see Alfred in a devilished manner, with clothes draping on his arms.

"Good evening Mr. Braginski! Nice to meet you!" Alfred greeted amiably. Ivan glared at him and gave a frosty smile.

"The pleasure is all mine Mr... Jones." Despite the smile, his eyes were distant and very cold. Picking up a little on Ivan's bristled demeanor, he backed up a little. Why was this guy acting so strange towards him? Alfred thought. He hadn't done anything to offend Ivan.

"Well, I got him a change of clothes, but it seems like he's already fallen asleep. If you're tired of carrying him, I can do that for you." Alfred offered, still very friendly despite stiff, uptight attitude of Ivan's.

"It's all right. I can take care of it." He reached over, and with one hand took the bundle of clothes in one swoop. He covered Yao with the folded pile of clothes, and turned his back. He started to walk towards the door and paused.

"Stay away from Yao." Ivan warned with such a cruel expression. Then he quickly replaced it with another smile. "Have a good night." He took the last strides towards the door, with butlers following behind to close the doors.

* * *

"A toast! To the bond of the Braginski family and the Alfroskaya family! Together, we will make new connections!" A man with a shiny bald head exclaimed at the head of the balcony, with a glass of bubbly alcohol. Cheers were heard around, and with the clink of glasses, everyone toasted to the cry.

The engagement party was in full swing.

It was quite a grand and regal affair. It was as if a scene from a past gala was cut out from a massive painting and placed in the bright ballroom. Important dignitaries from different countries, wealthy nobles and successful business people all seemed to gather to celebrate the union of Ivan and Natalia.

Natalia wore another sapphire dress, this time it was quite short. The bottom skirt was full, white and fluffy while the top was strapless, and had intricate lace details. She had a small side bag with a golden chain, and neck breaking high heels. She had a black velvet bow in her silvery long hair, and Ivan wore a matching velvet bow in his suit. Half of Ivan's silvery hair was in his eyes like bangs, while the other half was slicked back. It was quite a fashionable hairstyle, highlighting his handsome features.

Ivan's hand was tucked into his pant's pocket, his silvery watch glinting in the chandelier lights. Their smiles were bright and blinding.

Even though Yao didn't care a bit, why did his heart ache? Why did it feel as if the bright walls were oppressing him, as if some heavy stone had sunk his heart to the pit of his stomach. He rested his cheek in his hand dejectedly.

He looked off at the picture perfect pair, who were both giving blinding smile as they received congratulations and best wishes. They shook hands, received gifts, took pictures. Natalia laughed lightly, throwing her head back. Ivan laughed along, and Yao felt a sting of jealously. What was he doing? Ivan was usually laughing with him ...

Natalia then turned her face to press a light kiss on Ivan's cheek. Unable to look anymore, Yao teared his eyes away and stared at his wavering reflection in the amber liquid. Pushing the glass away, he got up from the bar stool and slowly wandered away, not really sure where he was going. But anywhere was better than there.

He found a quiet sitting room overlooking a small garden. Slipping inside, he lightly placed himself on the settee. He daydreamed, staring off at the window, admiring the bright pinpricks of light set against the darkness.

"Why the long face?" A clear voice asked. Looking up, he was met with cheerful bright blue eyes framed by glasses. He was quite attractive in his tailored suit, his blonde hair slicked back. However, this image was all ruined by the can of Coca-Cola in his hand. No, not wine, but soda. Yao fought a giggle.

Alfred sat next to Yao. "Why aren't you at the engagement party?" Yao's round , golden eyes met his.

"Why aren't you?"

Alfred chuckled. "That's because I was looking for you. Didn't want you to miss out on the fun."

"What fun?" Yao replied bitterly.

"I lied, I was worried about you." Alfred answered swiftly, realizing that something about the engagement party bothered Yao. "Arthur told me to come check up on you, he was worried too."

"He was worried?" A happy expression immediately filled his face and Alfred couldn't help but feel a painful twinge of jealously. Why couldn't that happy smile be because of him?

"Um yeah, he was." Alfred with an almost distraught frown.

"Arthur was always such a worrywart. Constantly coming from England to visit me, we used to spend so much time together." He paused, laughing at a particularly fond memory. "He's the one who taught me how to play the piano. Silly man, he went out of his way to buy me a grand white piano. It was such a nice afternoon." He closed his eyes, completely content at ease. His eyes closed, with his long dark eyelashes casting shadows across his soft cheeks.

His silky hair fell like a curtain around his delicate beautiful face, tickling the nape of his neck. A faint blush of pink dusted across his cheeks, and his precious lips parted open invitingly. Blood rushed through Alfred strongly, and his eyes focused only on Yao. Right now in the room, the only thing that Alfred saw was Yao.

Without another thought, Alfred leaned over, his bangs falling into his eyes.

Yao's honey eyes widened like saucers as he stood there limply as lips were planted upon his. Not sure how to react, his hands lay there uselessly, as the American man arm's started to wound around his waist.

There was the sound of the door being opened, and suddenly a towering presence stood before them.

"Alfred." A clear, deep voice resonated within the room, it was so commanding it sent shivers down your core. It made you truly frightened, that voice would make you feel guilty even if you've done nothing wrong. Turning his face, Alfred was met with infuriated burning violet eyes. It contradicted with the seemingly placid smile. "Would you please let go of Yao?"

Alfred grip only tightened and he seemed almost frightful, the usual cheerful expression gone. The footsteps of Ivan's black polished shoes were deafening in the room, despite the distant sounds of chatter of the engagement party. "Let's be civil, da?" When he was angry, his Russian accent thickened deeply, and a violent heavy aura filled the air.

* * *

Yao stubbornly crossed his arms and sat by the window, moodily looking outside. Sighing, Ivan paced aggravated up and down in the room. Even though his bedroom was quite expansive, he looked like a caged lion.

"Do you enjoy making me angry?" Ivan asked sarcastically as he asked loudly to Yao.

"Not particularly." Yao answered back with pout. Ivan gave a heavy sigh as he rubbed his throbbing temple. It was getting too hot in this room. Irritated, he pulled off his blazer and threw it across the back of an upholstered chair.

"What were you doing with Alfred?" Ivan continued to ask, his pacing increased. Yao opened the windows, allowing the night breeze in an attempt to clear the stuffy air.

"Does it matter? You were having so much fun with Natalia."

Ivan felt a prick enter his heart at the simple offhand comment. Out of all the cruel things Yao said, it was probably the most painful. Why? Didn't Yao understand by now? Why couldn't Yao love him back?

"Yao, I have tried so hard to win you over. I've done everything, scattered you in gifts, stayed by your side. Do you remember those years in Shanghai?" He asked almost desperately, he wanted Yao's recognition and affection. When he said those words, he had taken steps towards Yao.

"I do, but Ivan, you were ... a child. You still are, I just can't see you in that way." Yao said politely.

"Why?! I've grown up, haven't I?" He pulled Yao's hand to his chest. "My heart beats only for you."

"I know, we're just not meant to be together, we would never work." Yao pulled his hand away, trying to get some distance. They were too close, much too close of his comfort.

"It's so frustrating! I watch you get heart broken constantly by that British bastard, I see Kiku constantly betray you. I know I could take such good care of you! Now you've left yourself be swept off your feet by Alfred? Yao! I'm right here! Why can't you see me?"

"I don't even like Alfred!" Yao shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Oh, but you still like Arthur?" He retorted.

Yao's eyebrows furrowed together, and the round amber eyes looked off to the side. His mouth tightened, and he crossed his arms. Ivan took Yao's silence badly. "I see. You'd still love him after he sold you all that opium, killing all your people. He left you behind. I don't understand you Yao."

Something inside of Yao broke, a fragile part of his vulnerable heart had snapped, and was impossible to repair. Anger and hurt flashed through him. He stood up abruptly. "Of course you don't understand. You never had. You've never taken the time to understand me. You never will! How could you ever know ..."

He paused, hating that memories of the past flooded through his mind. He wanted to live in the present, but the troublesome past he could never change kept being reminding him that he was never going to be truly loved.

"I'm never going to be... treasured. How could you _ever _know how it feels? To be the mistress, to have the person I love be _ashamed _of me. I'm never the one that they can introduce their parents proudly. No. I'm the unwanted whore who has to sneak around, begging people for love. It's unsightly, I know."

Ivan regretted the words he had said immediately. "Oh Yao Yao," His eyes glimmered with unshed tears at the sight of Yao in so much pain. Why couldn't he do anything to ease Yao's burdens? Why? Even though he had so much power and money, why was he helpless to take away the sadness of his loved ones? Why didn't Yao understand that he truly loved him? "I'm not ashamed of you." He finished finally.

"Oh really? Then why do you keep dressing me up as a woman?" Yao's hands had balled up into fists, his head was faced towards the floor, and his shoulders shook. He seemed so tiny, so vulnerable, and so unbearably alone.

"I ... " Ivan ran his fingers through his hair, mussing up his silvery hair. He fought so hard to find words. "I do love you, more than you could ever know." Ivan whispered breathlessly.

The words were so similar, and yet the people who spoke them were do different. Yao wanted to cry for an entirely different reason now.

See? Even though Ivan was confessing his heart out, Yao still couldn't forget about Arthur. It was impossible. Yao hated himself for this reason. The British man was engraved in Yao's heart, body, mind and soul, a fragment of his life that is difficult for him to remove.

Even though he didn't want to remember, the memory appeared uninvitingly anyway.

_"My dear Yao, I love you more than you will ever now." The heavily British accent said into his ear, as those loving hands caressed his body knowingly. "We will never be apart."_

Yao turned his face, his eyes dripping with tears of hurt.Usually, Ivan felt powerful at reducing his tiny China doll to tears, but today he only felt a heart wrenching misery. Why?

"No you don't! If you loved me, you wouldn't marry Natalia! If you loved me, you'd let me go. If you loved me, you'd think of my best interests!" He paused. "You'd let me go home, I miss my people."

Ivan noticed Yao's strange expression that occurred every now and then, he now realized whenever Yao had that expression, it meant he was thinking of Arthur. Still? Even now? Why was Yao so stubborn? Why couldn't he let go of Arthur?!

"Is that what you need? If I grant you your freedom would you believe that I love you?" Ivan asked urgently.

"You'd never do it." Yao answered swiftly, his heart barred by an untrusting iron gate to keep out this Ice Prince.

"You don't know me well either." He leaned down and kissed Yao. It was a brief, closed mouth kiss, but it probably held the most meaning in all the shallow kisses they shared. Ivan parted to say, "Tonight, I'll make sure you'll never want speak another man's name again."

What the hell was wrong with them? Things were never supposed to be like this. Why was their love painful? It was so hard to decipher and untangle their complicated feelings. They tumbled together in a intertwined mess on the bed.

"Just for tonight, only think about me." Ivan said aggressively, growling as he lightly bit into Yao's neck. He left a mess of love bites that started to turn a guilty red on Yao's pale skin. His neck arched and he gave a tiny moan.

"Aren't you getting married to Natalia?" Yao said, feeling oddly angry and betrayed.

"Didn't I tell you not to think?"


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N - Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews, I appreciate it! xD Warning, there's some smut and mature content in this chapter. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter! **

* * *

**Dawn - Epitone Project **

**I Hurt that Person - Kim JinYeop **

**Things that I Couldn't Say - Noel **

** Who Is in Your Heart Now? - Studio Killers **

* * *

**CHAPTER 4**

Twining tongues brushed against one each other, and there was the faint salty taste of tears. Fingers reached up to entwine in each other's hair. Their breaths were mismatched as they continued to kiss. Yao's tongue was stuck out, and Ivan sucked on Yao's tongue until his jaw began to ache. They pressed their faces close together, their kiss flaring with every passing moment. Their tongues rolled together smoothly.

From the way they touched, they could easily feel each other's warmth. Their hearts beat together erratically in sync. Ivan's lips wandered down Yao's neck, he sucked the skin there. He left a trail of kisses, and went back up to his mouth. Ivan began to grind himself against Yao, their movements restless. Ivan nipped at Yao's bottom lip, his hands started to tug away impatiently at Yao's clothes.

The dress roughly came undone and was tossed carelessly aside. Now he was graced with Yao's enticing figure in only a pair of underwear. Ivan's cock twitched at the sight of those, sexy legs and pale flawless skin, and flushed expression. He had such slender limbs, and an impossibly small waist.

His mouth latched onto a pink nipple, and his hands roamed over the smooth skin that was soft underneath his touch. Underneath his large hands, the skin began to warm. His tongue ran over the nipple.

He pinched and flicked his tongue over the nipples, seeing the pink nipples perk up. His other hand running to grasp Yao's penis. He gasped, and a flood of pink filled his cheek. Ivan's hand reached inside the underwear to feel the hot, throbbing penis. Heat raced throughout Yao's entire body, at the feel of the large hand.

Ivan undid the buckle of his belt and unzipped his pants with his other hand. His pants hung low on his hips, giving a tantalizing peek of what was underneath. With an intense look, Ivan guided Yao's hand to his energetic cock.

It pulsed and throbbed under Yao's tentative touch. "Stroke me too," Ivan urged him on with a heady voice. Complying with a bright red face, Yao began to slowly pump and down. It dripped with need, and Ivan's breathing became labored.

Ivan grunted when Yao's thumb ran over the tip, smearing the clear precum. Ivan pressed their bodies together, and grinded his erection against Yao's. He gasped at the contact of Ivan's throbbing cock touching his. Ivan's large hand grasped the together, and stroked them together.

Yao moaned when Ivan leaned forward a little more. Ivan's grip tightened, pressing the cocks even closer together. The friction stoked their arousals, and soon their breathing became very heavy. Ivan pressed a kiss to Yao's parted mouth. He stuck his tongue in Yao's mouth, the kiss quickly became very wet.

Just before they were about to climax, Ivan abruptly pulled away. Yao groaned in frustration. "W-why?" He murmured, his hands reaching back down to stroke himself. Ivan shooed Yao's hands away.

"Not yet," He said deeply. He pressed a light kiss on Yao's dripping tip, his violet eyes rolling up to meet Yao's. He pulled the weeping organ into his mouth, sucking expertly. He only did this for Yao; but he was still very skilled.

"Ah!" Yao's hips bucked into the mouth, his body trembling.

Ivan sucked leisurely, taking all the time in the world. His hands began to lightly massage Yao's balls, his mouth moving up and down Yao's organ slickly. His tongue swirled over the tip, he kept a steady pace. He took Yao deeply. Yao's hands reached down to wound themselves into the silvery hair, messing up the once neat hairdo.

Yao relaxed, and was now gently thursting up into the warm vaccum around his cock.

"Look at what a mess you are," Ivan stated with a smile as he pulled away from Yao's organ. He wiped his glossy lips with the back of his hand and was pleased to see the refined Yao so relaxed. A line of saliva was had formed from the corner of his mouth. Ivan leaned down to kiss him once more.

There was something erotic about Yao being completely naked while Ivan was still fully dressed.

Ivan finger brushed against the puckered opening and slid inside. "M-more your fingers." Yao mumbled. His words were becoming mixed up since his brain had refused to work fully. His mind had turned blank at the mind numbing blow job that Ivan was gave. He wanted to feel the long fingers inside his ass, stroking over that one particulalry pleasuable spot.

Happy to comply, Ivan used the precum from Yao to loosen his opening. His finger slid in slickly. His fingers curled inside of Yao, and with skill, he added in a second finger. The fingers thrusted shallowly in and out.

Yao's ass made wet sucking sounds whenever Ivan's fingers entered him. When Yao was loose enough, Ivan's fingers left. His shining penis stroked against the opened, loose anus. He worked himself up against the crease of Yao's ass.

Yao let out a cry when Ivan's fat head started to lightly probe against his opening. His fingers tightend in the cloth of Ivan's shirt. "This is the last night I'll allow this," Yao swore as he whispered breathlessly against Ivan's ear. Tears pricked at his eyes painfully at the feeling of something so large tearing at his tiny hole.

His knuckles became white from clutching into Ivan's shirt so tightly. His face became as white as the sheet, and he broke out into a cold sweat. "I don't think I can do it after all!" He tried to push Ivan away, but Ivan held firm. He leaned down and pressed his forehead to Yao's.

"Since it's the last night, can't you be a little more compliant?" Ivan soothed.

Yao hands came to cover his face, his eyes were squeezed shut. He whimpered as Ivan continued to enter.

"Relax your body," He grunted trying to control himself from thrusting all the way into the twitching, warm haven. He let out a groan of frustration as he leaned his head up to the ceiling. He patiently rocked and forth, trying to ease himself in. Yao bit his lip, and tried to cope with the pain. Was Ivan always this big? It was already difficult to put it with the aid of lube or jelly, so with only a little of preparation it seemed impossible. However, Ivan was determined.

Every single time Yao thought about backing away, or saying 'stop', Ivan would contiously murmer, "Becuase it's the last night." With those words, Yao would stay still and try to bear with it.

"Spread your legs," Ivan's finger traced a line down Yao's cheek. He shook his head with flushed cheeks, completely embarassed. "Please, it's the last night." He repeated, putting on the puppy dog eyes he knew Yao had trouble resisting. "Please ... Yao?" He whispered, removing Yao's hands from his face and leaving kisses on the fingertips.

Biting his lip, Yao removed his hands from Ivan. "You're starting to sound like a broken record." He pouted with displeasure. Trembling, Yao slowly spread his legs with his hands, his twitching pink anus was there for Ivan to see. Blood quickly pooled in Ivan's groins, causing his cock to throb at the entincing sight.

Ivan tried again, rocking back and forth slowly into Yao's entrance. He finally sheathed his entire rod into Yao's body. He moved very slowly and shallowly, not wanting to hurt Yao. Yao's hands reached for Ivan and wrapped around his neck. His fingers began to undo the bow, and unbutton the first few buttons of Ivan's shirt.

With a frim, bruising grip on Yao's hips, he continued to thrust. Soon, the edge of pain faded away to give the fuzzy feeling of pleasure. The sex blurred all of Yao's lines of logic, leaving him a panting hot mess. Yao felt so tight and soft around his hard staff.

Ivan's burning hands lightly ran over the creamy thighs, causing them fall apart wider. It was the sight he loved most, to see his dishonest love loose all composure in ecstasy. His cheeks were colored like peaches, similar to watercolors spilling over a canvas. Yao's silky hair spread out against the pillows and his eyebrows were furrowed together in strain. "Uhnn more," He said unconsciously, his hips beginning to meet Ivan's thrusts.

Ivan complied, using his entire lower half to please Yao. Their skin slapped sharply together, and Ivan thrust even deeper with every stroke. Erotic moans left out of Yao's tiny mouth, and his half lidded dazed eyes seduced Ivan with every blink. Ivan groaned as he thrust back in. He leaned down, biting down on Yao's neck.

It was such a pleasurable sensation, to have that staff persistently press against that one spot. Yao let out a long draw out moan just like honey. Spasms of pleasure blossomed to life between Yao's legs and went up his stiff cock. Yao's hands in Ivan's hair tightened when long streams of cream shot out of it.

"You just came but your hips aren't stopping." Ivan chuckled, the sound sending vibrations against his skin. His mouth continued to mark the intoxicating soft skin. That alone was enough to get Yao hard again.

Yao fought for breath, his chest frantically rising and falling. Left over sticky white cream coated his long legs and stomach.

His legs wrapped tighter around Ivan's midsection, his feet pressing into Ivan's ass, urging him to go deeper. The heady pleasure made Yao dizzy and light headed. Watching his long, thick staff disappearing and appearing from that round ass made Ivan groan.

Ivan pulled out and turned Yao on his side and lifted Yao's leg in the air. He draped it over his shoulder, and leaning down, he pressed a kiss to the creamy thigh. He left another kiss, and sucked on the skin there. He left behind red love marks on Yao's snowy thighs.

"I-Ivan ..." Yao said, fighting the shivers that wracked his body. His body was becoming so weak and numb to Ivan's touch. Ivan used this opportunity to thrust in all the way up to the hilt, splitting Yao wide open. His eyes widened and he let out a cry of pain.

"Please don't forget me." Ivan rasped almost painfully into Yao's ear. Without another word, Ivan thrust back twice as hard in.

The sex sped up to a frenzy. Yao had a death grip on the sheets, because if he didn't, he'd be fucked right off the bed. Ivan's cock continued a brutal but blissful thrust inside of Yao. Yao gave strangled little gasps through his parted lips as he took it deeper and even faster.

Yao turned his face to the side, burying them into the pillows. Ivan was so deep! He felt as if Ivan's staff was touching his stomach, he had never felt so full.

The harsh panting and blush inducing moans filled the room with the heady musk of lovemaking. This act continued well into the night.

Ivan was determined to leave his mark into Yao's body. He would engrave his touch into that dishonest, wanton body so that Yao couldn't live long without his touch. Even if his heart refuses to remember, his body will never forget.

He would make sure of that.

* * *

When Yao awoke, he felt as if was being buried by an avalanche of strawberries. it was so heavy, that he had trouble breathing, and it was much too hot. Troubled, his eyelashes fluttered with difficulty like trapped butterflies. They opened, and were met with the glare of sunlight.

"Mnn," He made a small sound as he squinted his eyes. Eventually, his eyes finally adjusted to the brightness. He could see dust motes floating in the air, and the curtains were open to let in the bright sun. There were clothes strewn around the floor.

Still .. what was that heavy feeling? He found a strong arm wrapped tightly around his midsection. Yao turned to see a sleeping face. He was met with a childish face, with his tousled silver hair spread out against the pillow. His chest fell and rose slowly, completely relaxed. Yao smiled, his heart melting at the sight of such a peaceful Ivan.

Usually he was cold and uptight, so to see him so at ease without any worries made Yao happy. It was as if Ivan was a child. Oh! How adorable little Ivan was! Seeing Ivan subdued reminded Yao that he wasn't a total tyrant. He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to Ivan's forehead. His silky curtain of hair fell around them.

Then he sat up straight, stretching his arms. He disentangled himself from Ivan, and pulled the covers off of himself. His feet dangled over the floor, and he slowly tested the floor with his feet. He stood up, and crumpled to the ground. His hips and back emanated pain, and he took a deep breath. He gingerly picked himself back up, and walked carefully to the connecting bathroom.

Ivan stirred when he felt that his arms were empty. His violet eyes opened to see a pleasant sight. Against the windows, was the nude backside of Yao. His dark hair reached midway to his back. His hands were extended out as he clumsily tried to make his way to the bathroom.

The round ass he had fucked last night was dripping with his seed, and the pale nape of Yao's neck was marked with red love bites. Ivan wanted to drag Yao back into bed, but he couldn't. It was already dawn. He'd keep his promise.

Resisting the temptation, he turned onto his back.

Yao finally arrived to the door of the bathroom, and turned the knob. Too tired to stand, he decided to take a bath instead. He turned on the handles of the golden faucets and let water stream into the clean tub. He poured an small amount of some French soap that Ivan had bought into the tub. Once the soap had frothed, and formed bubbles, he stepped inside.

He sunk into the tub, sighing in contentment as the warm water ailed his sore body. He inspected his body to find it full of red marks, and a few bruises. Ivan was always so rough. Even if he did try to be gentle, he'd usually loose control at some point.

Yao leaned his head back. This is why he missed Arthur's touch so much. Arthur was always so gentle, a blush crossed over his face. He appeared like a young maiden in love. Yao liked to be treated nicely, and Arthur was always such a gentleman.

_"Please don't forget me." _Ivan's words from last night echoed in his head. Embarrassed, he sunk down further, and blew bubbles in the water. His face was tomato red, and steam seemed to come from the top of his head.

After he was done in the bath, he stepped out and draped a towel over himself. He almost jumped out of his skin when Ivan appeared at the door of the bathroom.

Ivan fought another wave of lust. _Damn it Yao. _

Ivan thought he would faint from the dizzying soft white skin, the delicate neck that gave off that pleasant scent he loved. The ends of his hair dripped with water, and he had a rosy complexion. He turned his face to the side to avoid looking into those large, honey eyes.

"Your bags have been packed. Go out to the front, the car's waiting to take you the airport." Ivan said gruffly.

"... Okay." Yao said softly, the corners of his eyes tightening. Ivan left the bathroom to give Yao some privacy.

He saw that on the bathroom counter was a folded outfit for him. He slipped on the wheat colored long shirt, and some pants underneath. They seemed to be made from a natural material, for they were very comfortable to the touch.

Next to the sink was a line of beauty products to use. He picked up a tube of expensive face cleanser and applied it to his face. He rinsed it off with water, and patted his face dry with a towel. Then he took a small container of cream and moisturized his skin. Now, he smelled lightly of peonies.

Ivan had no qualms about spending a lot of money on making Yao pretty. His entire life, Yao was used to dressing himself and taking care of himself as a woman would. It was a habit now, and something that Ivan instilled even deeper into him.

He tied his damp hair in a ponytail, and stepped out into the bedroom.

Ivan was lounging on the bed with his pants hung low on his hips. He had unbuttoned his shirt to show his taut, ripped stomach. A cigarette was perched between his fingers, and his silvery bangs hid his eyes.

At the foot of the messy bed, was a suit case and a couple of bags. Servants were already carrying bags away and ushering him to the door. "Mr. Wang, are you prepared to leave?" The servants inquired.

"Um, could you give me a moment?" Yao asked them politely. They nodded and left. Once the two were alone in the room, the silence was unbearable.

"So where am I going?" Yao finally asked. Ivan didn't answer immediately, but instead inhaled his cigarette. When he exhaled, curls of smoke surrounded Ivan's handsome face. He turned slowly to face Yao, his amethyst eyes burning in intensity.

"You'll know when you get there."

Realizing that Ivan wouldn't tell him anything else, Yao gave up. Sighing he picked up his carry on bag and hung it over his shoulder. He walked to the door, and paused when his hand was on the handle.

"Ivan ... I ..."

Ivan's ears perked at the hesitant tone.

"Never mind." Yao finished. He turned the handle and walked away. The door clicked softly in it's finality, dawn had arrived after their long night.

"Jao." A broken Russian voice filled the empty room.

* * *

"Sir, are you sure you don't want to see Mr. Wang off?" His butler asked with concern. He set down a tray of breakfast onto the table. He poured Mr. Braginski a cup of dark coffee.

His master looked like a mess, with his unkempt silver hair that fell into his eyes and crumpled clothes. He swirled a glass of alcohol in his hand and his eyebrows furrowed together.

"Yeah. Because if I saw him, I probably wouldn't be able to let him go. It's ... better this way." His grip on the glass tightened and he clenched his jaw. He had to fight the urge to bolt from his country mansion and to the airport. He wanted to lock Yao back down in chains and never allow him to leave again. However, he couldn't.

He took the glass of alcohol, and poured some into the coffee. He pushed aside the plate of breakfast and glanced longingly out the window. He rested his chin in his hand. Had Yao left yet? He brought the cup to his lips.

"Sir ..." His butler stepped forward, filled with worry for his young master.

"It's fine. You are dismissed." Ivan said. The butler sighed and bowed.

"Very well. Call me if you need anything." He exited and left his master who was pensively staring outside in melancholy.

* * *

Yao glumly rested his cheek in his hand, glancing out the round window. The airplane had started to slowly move down the airstrip, with the traffic person directing with their wands.

He was settled in the leather seat, his arm resting on the arm rest. His fingers tapped idily, and there was an untouched glass of water on the side table. He was the only one sitting in the large private jet. The other airplane crew members were at the head of the plane, hidden away from the passenger area.

Yao turned off the flat screen tv, he didn't have the focus to watch anything. His mind kept wandering, he was nervous. He wasn't sure where he was going next. The anxiety was driving him crazy.

Yao knew that he would be sent off somewhere to 'reflect' in solitude. Whenever he had royally pissed of Ivan, he was usually sent to one of Ivan's private mansions or penthouses as punishment. In this way, he felt very much like a pet or someone's property, and that made him infuriated.

He probably made Ivan really angry last night, yelling at him and everything. _That's probably the reason for Ivan's cold demeanor this morning. _He thought to himself.

He wondered if Alfred and Arthur noticed he was missing.

Whenever his heart ached for Arthur, he'd often pull out the box that contained the photograph and pearl necklace to console himself. Well, now it was just a bunch of pearls.

When Yao rummaged through his bags for his box of memories, he found a crumpled folded piece of paper instead. Confused, he took it out and smoothed it out on his lap. Unfolding the piece of paper, he found it was a letter. On the letter, is said:

_Yao, _

_It's Ivan._

Seeing that name, Yao got angry and started to crumple the letter. Ivan without any explanation, simply packed all his things and shipped him away. He didn't want to return back to his mountain estate in the depths of Russia. He remembered how cold and isolated he was back then.

He sat there, trying to occupy his mind. However, his thoughts kept straying back to the letter. Finally, caving into his curiosity, he smoothed out the letter once more. He continued to read it:

_Don't throw it away, please read it. _

A guilty feeling passed over Yao, was he that predictable?

_This plane is headed to Hong Kong. I know I may have seemed very angry with you this morning and frightened you a bit. Don't worry, I'm not confining you again back to my estate. I know how much you hated it. I've decided to give you back your freedom. _

_I may have made many mistakes regarding you, but loving you was not a mistake. Staying with a man you hated must have been very difficult for you. Sorry for keeping you away from your family so long. I'm sure they must have missed you. _

_Best wishes to you, I hope everything turns out well for you. _

_I know it's cowardly of me to write this all instead of saying it to you, but you probably would't even have given me a chance to say it all. So that's why I've written you this letter. _

_See? I did what I promised. Give me some credit. Don't hate me as much Yao Yao. Can't you feel a little sorry for me? _

_Yours, _

_Ivan. _

"Go to hell. Like I'll feel sorry for you." Yao eyes had started to turn red, and he looked away from the letter. However, something wet dripped down, causing the blue ink to blur. He covered his mouth with his hand. Why did it hurt? He should be happy. He was finally set free. Sitting on that plane to the freedom he wished for so long, he felt so incredibly guilty and negligent.

No. He pushed away the uncomfortable feeling deep inside his chest.

_I'm happy._

* * *

"What, you finally sent beloved cross dresser away?" Natalia smirked as she entered the room, shutting the door behind her. It was dusk, the sun was setting and the room that Ivan resided in was getting quite dark. Ivan ignored her as she took the seat across from him. Instead he poured another shot of vodka and downed it.

"Aren't you miserable?" She continued sarcastically. Ivan grimaced and slammed the shot glass down on the table.

"Shut the hell up." His violet eyes glared at her with fury, and that glare only caused her to shiver. She always did love this side of Ivan. The strong, unrestrained, powerful Ivan. She would see to it to restore him to his former glory.

In his hand, was a pearl necklace. His thumb ran over one of the pearls. "In the end, he couldn't accept it. He gave it back to me." He said woefully to himself. "He'd still prefer those cheap, broken pearls instead." He hung his head in misery.

Natalia'a eyelashes lowered and her mouth turned into a frown. "Oh? Tell me about it. After all, we're getting married anyway. Couples should tell each other about each other their troubles."

"We're only getting married for appearances."

Natalia crossed her ankles and smoother her skirts, her eyes glinting. She leaned forward and sharp nails running over Ivan's stubble. "Oh really?" She laughed lightly. Her nails continued to run down his neck, over his chest, even lower, and rested on his crotch.

She leaned ever closer, and left a kiss on Ivan's throat. "What are you doing Natalia?" His Russian accent was heavy. He poured some more vodka and drank it all. When he swallowed, she leaned over and sucked on his adam's apple.

He sharply inhaled. "What do you think you are doing?" Her hand squeezed down there.

"I can give you some relief. Now, now Ivan. Just for tonight, enjoy the touch of a woman." To make her point, she pressed her breasts against his arm.

That stupid Yao person had made Ivan gone all soft. Well no more. She would fix all this. The miserable, weak, emotion swaying Ivan had to go. She would take control over Ivan, and this was a perfect opportunity.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N - So Hong Kong is Xiang Gang. I'm going to call him Xiang. Yeah. Kay. Thanks to those who are reading my fanfiction, and I'm sorry about these slow updates! Enjoy the chapter! xD **

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**Songs: **

**China Advice - Sotaisei Riron **

**Oriental Quiet - Free Tempo **

**Reminiscence Overture - SID SOUND **

**London - Yoonhan **

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**CHAPTER 5**

**"I'm grateful that telephones were invented. He paused to chuckle. "They close the distance between you and I. I love it when you try to learn Russian. The words tumble from trembling and hesitant lips. Now that I've locked you up, have you repented?" Ivan spoke calmly and slowly, as if gently reprimanding a child. **

**Yao's grip on the telephone tightened so much that it shook. "No way in hell." He then hung up with relish. **

That was a long time ago.

As Yao lay in bed restlessly, he couldn't help but have memories flow into his mind constantly.

In the past whenever Yao was 'misbehaving', Ivan would ship him off to his estates up in the cold, countryside of Russia. He would be confined to the large grounds. Ivan often had to leave for business affairs, so Yao was often alone with only the working staff. Everyday, he'd call to check up on Yao and every day Yao would hang up.

Yao couldn't sleep again. He turned to his side, and tried to sleep, but to no avail. This bed felt too big. Sighing in frustration, he sat up. He swung his legs over the bed, and let his feet softly touch the cool wooden floor. He took his blankets with him, trailing behind like a long wedding veil.

Was this room always so large? It's so empty, and cold. The lights are off in the small hotel room, the city night life casting a faint glow. The cars seemed so tiny from this floor so high up.

"Ah...it's really cold." He tightened the blankets around himself.

Walking across the room, he floated like a white gossamer jellyfish in the depths of the ocean. Gently, he pressed his fingertips into the unyielding and frosty glass. This city was so bright and colorful, the familiar Chinese characters on the sign made him realize he was home. People milled about on the streets, each going to their different destinations in the short night.

His cell phone vibrates on the bed side table. Running his fingers through his messy, long hair he walks over to the phone and picks it up warily. On the display screen was a familiar number. _Should I pick it up?_ He thought to himself. Yao waited, considering. He was nervous and stressed, fighting within himself.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

He picked up the phone cautiously almost as if would explode. Unable to do anything else, he slumped to the floor, clutching his knees to his chest. He held the phone in his hand, simply watching the phone light up and ring.

The phone rang twice.

Blinking unhappily at the glowing phone screen, he gently pressed the voice mail button. For some reasons his hands shook as he brought the dreaded phone to his ear. He had a rising fear that it might be something terrible. Perhaps Ivan had decided to take his freedom away after all.

"Hello." Ivan began rather awkwardly, coughing to clear his throat. The suspense built in Yao's heart. Did he want to hear it? "Yao, be happy."The words sent a shock of disbelief through him. Yao's eyes widened, but the feeling of doubt lingered in his chest heavily. Was that really it? So ... he was finally free?

Slowly removing the phone from his ear, he shakily pressed the end button.

"What kind of voice mail was that?" He asked aloud to himself in the hotel room. The phone slid through his fingers unnoticed, and Yao didn't really care. He felt bile rise in his throat. He wanted to vomit. He ran to the bathroom, and hunched over the porcelain throne regurgitating everything he had eaten in the past few days. His mouth felt so bitter afterwards, and he ran to the sink to rinse out the bitter taste.

In the mirror, a tired reflection of himself blinked slowly. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his face was an unhealthy color, a gray deathly pale. He looked like a walking corpse, gaunt and thin. He hadn't eaten much lately. His bones protruded, and he frowned even further. His dark hair reached his waist, dark against the stark white.

Yao picked up a strand of hair and inspect it. _It's gotten too long, I should cut it off. _He thought to himself.

_ At first, it was difficult I have to admit. I cried a lot, but now I'm okay. _

He repeated this mantra in his head. Breathing in slowly, he crawled back into bed. He curled himself into a bed, pulling the covers all the way up to his chin. The only thing visible against the white bed was his dark hair fanned out on the pillow.

_There was laughter, the scent of clean laundry and flowers floating about. Feathers drifted down, and the sun shone on a pair of laughing people. "No!" Yao screamed, laughing hysterically when fingers started to tickled his sides mercilessly. _

_"Never." Ivan answered back, pinning Yao down. _

_"Ah!" Yao laughed some more, and grabbed a pillow. He started to hit Ivan with it. More feathers floated, and Ivan put his hands up in surrender. _

_"All right, all right! I surrender!" He teased. _

_The two laid together in an exhausted heap on the bed, both out of breath from their previous battle._

_"Things would be so much easier if you were a woman." Ivan muttered longingly into Yao's hair. A prick stabbed his heart, and he felt offended. He had heard that comment, he wasn't deaf. _

_"Oh, well I'm not. I don't mean to disappoint you, but I'm a man." Yao answered coldly, his previous happy mood had disappeared. Yao made a move to get up from the bed, but the grip around his waist tightened. _

_"Don go. I'm sorry." _

_"... Ivan. What if I cut my hair? It's so long and troublesome."_

_"No, that's be such a waste."_

_"Why? Because then it makes it inconvenient for you? With my long hair, it aids my femininity. How will you explain your male lover to others?"_

_Ivan sighed and his fingers ran through the strands of silky long hair, they shone in the sunlight. "No, it's not like that. It's because I love running my fingers through your hair. It's so pretty. I've always thought so." _

He ran back to the bathroom.

**_I want to remove all traces of that man. _**

He opened the drawer, and pull out the scissors contained in it. He sucked in a deep breath, and took the scissor to his hair. Snip. Snip. A lock of dark hair falls to the once immaculate ground. The tendrils of midnight locks collected on the white bathroom floor. He continued with this process. The hair that once reached his waist, is become shorter.

The length of the hair is becoming shorter.

The days are becoming shorter.

His hair reaches around his ears, and he lean forward on the bathroom sink.

_I won't cry anymore. _

* * *

Yao laid there passively like a dead fish. That was how he lived the past few days. Unseeing, unable to do anything. He laid on the couch with a restless mind, staring at the ceiling. He was unsure what to do next, and frightened to take action. Yao drummed his fingers on his stomach and glanced at his cellphone screen.

Soon, his body went in a cold sweat. He curled into a shivering ball, wishing to shut out the entire world. Now he remembered why he had built all those defenses in the first place. It used to be so easy, no matter what anyone said to him, it had no effect. It was wonderful, it was great. His heart was completely numb and he didn't have to feel anything anymore. He clutched his painful chest.

"If I'd never lowered my defenses, I wouldn't have to feel this way." He mourned, blinking away the pricking feeling in his eyes. "I'm such a fool. Ugh, I hate it all." He pounded his chest with fist, hoping to chase it all away. The heart ache and yearning. Yao couldn't help but think that everything was so damn bitter.

**_Sometimes the sweetest words were the most bitter to say and hear._**

His phone rang again. The caller's name was displayed clearly. Yao sighed and accepted the call, and brought the phone to his ear. " Wèi?" He asked into the phone.

"Ah! Brother!" A deep voice filled the phone. He closed his eyes at the familiarity. "I heard you're in Hong Kong."

"I am."

"Oh, that's great. It's been so long since I've last seen you. Are you busy, could we meet today?"

"I can meet today." Yao sat up and raked his greasy hair out of face. He grimaced, realizing he needed to take a shower.

"Which hotel are you staying at?" His brother Xiang asked.

"I'll text it to you later."

"Cool. How about we meet in the hotel lobby in an hour?"

"That works. See you soon. Bye." Yao said briefly and hung up. He texted the address and then stepped in the shower. He undressed, the clothes falling off his very thin frame. He hadn't eaten in the past days, making him thinner than usual. His hands turned on the water, and he set it to the highest heat setting. He felt very cold lately.

He pumped some soap into his hands and lathered it into his greasy hair. It felt strange, since the length was so much shorter. Yao quickly washed the rest of his body, and then stepped out. He toweled himself off, and dried his hair with the hair drier. When he was finished, he was not used to how short his hair now. For the longest time, he kept it long since the Russian demanded so.

His hair now only reached a little past his ears.

He shook his head to get rid of all these thoughts, and quickly got dressed. He shoved his phone and hotel key card in his back pocket, slipped his shoes on and then left.

When he stepped into the hotel lobby, he spotted Xiang even from a distance. As girls walked past, they blushed and whispered as they glanced at the attractive man. He was rather tall, which was quite uncommon there. He glanced at his phone, and yawned. Even though he wore nothing but a red hoodie, white t-shirt underneath and gray sweat pants, he looked like a model.

Xiang turned around, and saw his older brother. "Hey." He greeted with a smile and a wave. Yao hurried his step and was soon reunited with his brother who he hadn't seen in years. "I missed you." Yao was buried in Xiang's embrace.

He had grown so freaking tall, that Yao only reached Xiang's shoulder. His hair had been greatly lightened, it was now a golden brown of sorts. His features were refined, and he had a tall slender stature.

He had a very "boyish" feel, with his loose white t-shirt and gray sweatpants.

"I'll take you to dim sum." Xiang said with a charming half grin. He ran his fingers through Yao's hair, ruffling it. Taking a bright red taxi, they arrived at a tall, busy shopping complex. Meandering through the multitudes of people, they both entered the crowded elevator. They pressed a button for the fourth floor, which was where the restaurant was located.

Xiang seemed to be friendly with the owners of the restaurant so they were ushered past the busy tables to an empty one by the tables. There was the loud shouts and chatter in Yao's language. It was nice. He didn't have to hear the foreign Russian words anymore.

A couple of people were leaving at the table next to the them, and they paused to say hello to Xiang. "Xiang! Nice to see you here. We're leaving and just wanted to say hi before we left." A younger boy greeted with his group of friends. He had a cheerful smile. "Who's that pretty lady? Your girlfriend?" He grinned and elbowed Xiang. Xiang simply blinked impassively.

"That's my older brother." Xiang stated. His friend's face flushed in embarrassment.

"Eh? Is that so? Ha! I'm very sorry." He apologized sincerely to Yao. He smiled weakly in return.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." Yao said.

"Well, we should get going. See you later Xiang." His friend patted Xiang on the back and then the group left.

Xiang then picked up many different foods from the passing metal carts, soon their table was full of food. Their card was full of stamps. From steamed buns to Chinese foods, all the foods he missed were sitting in front of him. However, his stomach didn't even growl.

An aura of gloom surrounded Yao. Even though he had cut his hair, he was still mistaken for a woman.

"You look so scary Yao, almost as if you want to kill someone." Xiang teased.

"Eh?" Yao snapped out of his thought, pulled back into reality. "Ah, I'm sorry."

"No, it's all right." Xiang smiled faintly and poured more oolong tea into Yao's tea cup. Yao thanked him and tapped the table with his fingers. He cradled the hot cup into his hands to warm himself up. Yao just felt so freaking cold lately.

Despite all his favorite foods laid out before him, Yao didn't have the appetite. He simply continued to sip his tea in silence, and would smile politely at Xiang.

_He's changed a lot. I wonder what happened. _Xiang thought to himself as he observed his aloof brother.

"Yao, it's difficult to tell what you're thinking now. It's ... as if you've put up a wall between yourself and the rest of the world. I'm concerned." Xiang ventured as he picked up a dumpling with his chopsticks. Yao laughed lightly.

"Says the stoic, quiet man." Yao joked. "Don't worry, Xiang Xiang, I'm fine. Thanks for worrying about me though, I know you care about me."

In the end, the food cooled down and laid on the table uneaten. Xiang's concern for his brother grew.

For the rest of the day, they simply walked around the differed shopping complexes. They talked about their family members, and Xiang's new job. However, they mentioned nothing of Yao's absence for the past few years. It was almost taboo to bring it up. Even though they visited all of Yao's favorite places, none of them cheered him up.

Xiang felt uneasy. What was he supposed to do? He gave a heavy sigh. They decided to rest at a cafe. They chose a small table in the corner. "Ah, excuse me. I need to use the toilet." Yao said and excused himself.

"Sure." Xiang relaxed in the chair and checked his phone. He sipped on his black iced coffee while scrolling through his social media. "Ah!" He had a message sent to him from Arthur. His eyes scanned through the message. "This is perfect! It'll definitely cheer Yao up."

When Yao returned, he had ordered an iced green tea, and was slowly sipping the drink while flipping through a magazine. Xiang tapped his foot impatiently and constantly checked the time on his phone.

"Are you in a hurry aru?" Yao asked curiously in concern.

"No!" Xiang shook his head. "Take all the time you need."

Yao smiled at his younger brother's consideration. However, seeing how restless Xiang was he decided to stand up. "Should we go?" He smiled.

The two exited the cafe and took an elevator down. They stepped out onto the bustling city streets, and was met with the heavy air filled with exhaust. The two continued walking, and Xiang cleverly decided to put his plan into action.

"Ah!" Xiang paused, and a grin lit up his face. "I know a place that will cheer you up!" He reached forward to grab Yao's arm. Surprised, he followed after a quickly running Xiang. Yao's short hair flew from the wind, his amber eyes widened in surprise.

"Where are you taking me?" Yao tilted his head in curiosity.

"It's a surprise." Xiang winked.

* * *

The taxi cab pulled to the side of the Kowloon harbor. By the time they arrived, night had already fallen. As Yao made a move to go outside, he noticed that Xiang wasn't moving. "Aren't you coming?" Yao asked.

Xiang shook his head. "I think you'll want to be alone for this." Yao shrugged his shoulders, slightly puzzled. He stepped outside, and felt a light wind. It was getting chillier, Yao crossed his arms to keep the warmth in.

He walked by the water, seeing boats in the distance. The colorful city lights were reflected in the wavering water, almost as if a parallel world full of wonders and mystery. The moon was shrouded by the wisps of clouds.

"Yao."

Yao turned at the mention of his name, the wind lightly playing through his hair. He tucked it behind his ear, and his eyes widened at the sight of someone familiar. It was a kind, strong back that he recognized. The lights played among his blonde hair, and his profile was as handsome as ever.

"Arthur?! What are you doing in Hong Kong?"

"I was worried about you, so I came to find you. Doesn't this bring back memories?" Arthur grinned as he gestured to the bustling city. It was a different time, with different people and settings, yet it felt the same. Yao felt warm at the familiarity.

"It does."

Yao was reunited with his first love, and he wanted to cry. If only he could pause this moment or record it so he could replay it. "Oh Arthur..." His eyes shone happily, and he had a silly wide grin. A smile of happiness that radiated such content. There was so much he wanted to say, all these years were on the verge of spilling out. However, after all the yearning and daydreaming, he was unable to say single clever word. All he could say was, "It's foggy tonight isn't it?"

"Yeah." Arthur grasped Yao's arm and brought the slender body closer to his.

"You didn't even call me." Yao said with a pout. Arthur chuckled and wrapped his arms around Yao. Yao wound his arms back around the tall British man, burying his chest into the familiar scent. "Yao, I missed you too."

"Whatever you British bastard aru." Yao sniffled and buried his face deeper into the warm chest.

Arthur smiled as he stroked Yao's hair. "Your hair's shorter now." He said as his nose skimmed the strands of silky hair. Ah, that never changed. Yao's hair was always so fragrant, however now it had a new scent that he didn't recognize.

"Yeah, I cut it. Do you like it?" Yao asked shyly.

"Yes, I do Yao. Any style looks lovely on you." Arthur looked back up at the sky, and saw that the moon had decided to show her glowing face. The fog had pulled away, and the bright silvery moon shone fondly over the lovers. "Look the moon's come back out." Arthur said. The moon shone illuminated the embracing couple by the harbor with pale moonbeams.

"You're right."

"I didn't get to spend much time with you at Ivan's and Natalia's party, but I intend to make up for lost time. Why don't you come spend the night with me?"

Yao simply nodded. He was so happy that he wasn't even able to utter a word.

* * *

All thoughts were falling out of Yao's head as he was ushered into Arthur's penthouse in Hong Kong. His fingers knotted in the front of Arthur's shirt as he felt hands roam underneath his shirt. His breath quickened, and his eyes fluttered shut. "Ahh!" He bit his bottom lip and tilted his head to the ceiling. He felt the door underneath his back as Arthur continued to caress the slender body. Arthur busied himself by kissing Yao's graceful neck. They continued upwards, pressing the delicate jawline, the define curve of his ear.

As Arthur pressed a kiss to his lips, Yao felt strange. It was what he had longed for so long, yet his heart sunk. He put his hands against Arthur's chest to put some distance between them. Arthur pulled away with a concerned expression. He cupped Yao's cheek with his hand. "Yao, what's wrong?"

"It ... just doesn't feel right. I don't want to tonight. Sorry." Yao apologized. He wanted to internally beat himself up. The two finally had all this time alone, yet Yao was being so cold.

"Oh, it's all right. You didn't have to apologize." Arthur soothed and wrapped his arms around the delicate, smaller Chinese man. He held him close to his heart, wanting nothing more to console Yao and chase away all his sorrows. Arthur didn't know what had happened to Yao over the years they had separated, but he hated the gap of distance.

They pulled apart and Arthur walked towards the kitchen, trying to soothe his raging lust with a glass of water. He poured another glass of water and handed it to Yao.

"Thanks." Yao gulped down the entire glass, and Arthur's eyes never left the throat that moved as Yao swallowed the water.

_Damn it. He just looks too adorable. _Arthur loved the flush on Yao's pale skin, the soft skin... yet he had to restrain himself. Being so long with the man, Arthur was used to Yao's rather unexpected changes in mood. He willed for 'Arthur Junior' to please calm down.

"It's getting late. Why don't we go to bed? You can take a shower if you'd like. It's down that hall." He pointed to the hall connected to the living room.

Yao nodded. "Thanks. I'll go do that then." He walked towards the hall and hesitated. "Um ... Arthur, aren't you coming too?"

Arthur's mouth went dry at those words. Was that an invitation? "I don't think I could control myself Yao..." He said.

"Oh! I didn't realize what I said sounded like that!" Yao covered his mouth with his hands. He hung his head down. "I'm going to go now." Yao scurried down the hall, trying to live down his embarrassment.

Arthur's face was flaming scarlet. _Too damn cute. _He rested his cheek in his hand. He went into the bedroom now, and checked his laptop.

When the door opened, his green eyes widened. Yao stood there in nothing but a towel. Water dripped from the ends of his soft hair, his pale body gave off a pleasant scent, and the lustrous skin made him dizzy. "The bath's open now." He said as he started to rub his hair with another towel.

"Do you have another change of clothes?" Yao asked.

"Uhhhhh..." Arthur shook his head to clear away all the dirty thoughts. "Yeah." He jumped up and rummaged through the dresser. "Ah, here we are!" He pulled out some pajamas for Yao. "Here you go. I'll go take a bath, and you can change here." He ruffled Yao's hair before walking out.

He went into the bathroom and wiped a circle in the mirror, staring at himself in the mirror.

"Arthur Kirkland. You must control yourself tonight." He stated to himself. He splashed some cold water onto his face. He squirted some minty toothpaste onto his toothbrush and starting to avidly brush his teeth. "No no no! Don't think dirty thoughts about him!" He said muffled. His spit out the foam and rinsed his mouth with water. He stripped and stepped into the shower.

He closed his eyes, but those images would give him no peace. All he could see was Yao's aroused and flustered face, his inviting lips parted open for breath. His chest would rise and fall frantically for air as Arthur's fingers caressed the sensitive body. Usually, Yao appeared so strict and uptight, yet in the sheets, he let out such enticing lewd cries.

Arthur hadn't seen Yao in years. Although they were immortal personifications of places, they didn't often like to talk about tried their best to live their ideal lives.

It was much more fun to live as normal civilians and have fun. It was difficult, gathering to discuss the world's problems and coming up with seemingly useless situations. Honestly, all the nation personifications wanted to do was chill and not have the country on their shoulders.

Usually they had the freedom to do as they pleased, and their bosses would do most of the work. On occasion, there was the certain issue they had to deal with.

However, their identities were unknown to the public . If normal humans knew these personifications existed, what a mess that would be!

Anyways, Arthur certainly wondered what had happened to Yao. He didn't know why Yao was with that scary, brooding Russian man. What was he doing there? Arthur just couldn't figure out the connection between Yao and that Mr. Braginski man. Really, to think that his precious Yao was spending so much time with that large oaf! Arthur huffed as he rinsed away all the soap bubbles.

Yes, things were different now. The war had long been over, yet the two had been separated due to tensions between their countries. The last time they had seen each other was in Shanghai in the 1930's. Oh, how lovely and feisty his darling Yao was! The glamour of it all sent Arthur's heart racing back to the time.

He pulled himself back to reality.

_However, this is the present. Even if Yao has changed, I should still accept and embrace who is he is because he will always be my treasured, special person. _

With this renewed determination, he got out of the shower.

_I will definitely keep the promise I made to Yao back then. _

Arthur stepped back in the room, and stifled a laugh. Yao was dressed in his pajamas, and they were so large on his small frame it was hilarious. He had folded the sleeves and pant legs up. Yao appeared just like a child among the large blankets. He was busy drying his hair with the towel.

Arthur sat next to Yao.

"Hey Yao. What were you during with Ivan all those years? We were all sort of worried, since we hadn't heard from you. It was almost as if you disappeared." Arthur ventured.

Yao's hands stopped, and his gaze went to the floor. "I ... it's difficult to explain. I don't really want to talk about it." He was suddenly very glum. Arthur understood, and left the matter alone.

"All right then." He sensed the beauty's sadness. He didn't know the source, but he wished that he could get rid of Yao's misery. He pulled Yao down onto the bed, and wrapped his arms tenderly around Yao. He brushed the hair out of Yao's eyes. "Let's go to sleep." He pressed a chaste kiss onto Yao's forehead.

"You know that promise we made a a long time ago? We swore that one day, we'd live together in peace. I swore on those pearls that I gave you. I think... that we can finally make true on that promise. What do you think Yao?" Arthur asked.

He received no response. He glanced down to find Yao's eyes closed, his cute little lips were parted as he breathed slow even breaths. He smiled.

"Good night love." Arthur whispered.

_Was this real? To have the one I longed for finally in my arms, it makes me so happy. Yao Wang, I might not be the young, arrogant solider I once was. You might not be the same lost, prostitute you once were. I want to shield you from the world's hardships. I will always protect you. _

Arthur thought to himself.

Yao couldn't help but feel guilty. He wasn't really asleep yet, he had only pretended so he wouldn't have to answer Arthur. He just didn't know what to say.

_I should be happy. Arthur even wants to spend his life with me. I had always missed him, and yearned for him. Lately, these thoughts haven't been going through my head though. I wonder why. I've always loved Arthur ... so why does my heart feel so strange? I should be happy ... and I am. Right? Then why does my heart still ache like this? I hate this! Why must I be so troubled! I just want to live the rest of my life in peacefulness. I was finally given my freedom. _

Yao thought to himself.

The two people had their own thoughts as they laid in each other's warmth. However, all fleeting thoughts disappeared once their breathing slowed and sleep wrapped them in it's comfortable inky darkness.

* * *

_"Jao ... " A deep voice vibrated against his skin, the lips pressing against the nape of his neck. The strong arms tightened around his waist, refusing to let go. "I love you." _

"Agh!" Yao was startled awake, wide eyed and panting. Another one of those dreams? Yao glanced at Arthur's sleeping face and smiled.

_At least someone's sleeping peacefully tonight. _

Yao thought to himself, giggling quietly as Arthur snored a little bit.

He slipped out of bed, quieter than a cat in the night. He wandered into the kitchen, turning only on a few lights. It was quite dim, and Yao's shadow flickered against the wall. Yawning, he reached into the fridge to look for something to drink.

His eyes scanned over the juice containers, the bottles of water and tea, and paused at the milk bottles.

_Yao began poking Ivan's sleeping backside. "Wake up aru! Wake up!" Yao complained, pouting. Ivan rolled around sleepily, his dazed sleepy eyes opening slowly. _

_"Hmm? What is it Yoshka?" He asked fondly, not bothered at being woken at all. He reached over to stroke his beloved's cheek with his fingers. _

_"I'm thirsty." Yao stated simply. _

_Ivan raised an eyebrow. "And you can't get it yourself?" He said with an amused smile. _

_"I can't because of you!" An enraged red flush dusted his cheeks. He crossed his arms. "I .. can't ... even walk straight." He muttered, thoroughly ashamed. Ivan laughed, his powerful body shuddering. _

_"Ah, I see. I'm sorry, next time I'll be more gentle." Mirth shone in his violet eyes as he looked on lovingly at his tiny kitten. Ivan got out of the bed and padded to the kitchen. After rustling a few minutes, and hearing the stove turn on, Yao heard Ivan return. _

_He carried a bowl in his hands carefully, not wanting to spill it. _ _He set it on the table carefully and Yao was confused. "A bowl of warm milk?" He asked with a raised eyebrow. _

_"Da."_

_"Ivan, do you really think I'm your pet cat?" _

_"Da." He leaned forward, and his hands ran over the silky thighs. "Don't you love my warm milk also?" Ivan joked as he whispered into Yao's ear. He guided Yao's hand to a rather large and excited organ. "Please help me do something about this." Ivan whispered huskily into Yao's ear. _

_"Aiyah! You pervert aru!" Indignant, Yao pushed a laughing Ivan away with a bright red face. " How many more times do you need to do it before you're satisfied? You're insatiable!" He said as he tried to keep the persistent Ivan at bay. _

_"Only when it comes to you." _

_Damn it! _Yao's fist collided with the counter top. Why did everything remind him of Ivan? Traces of him were left everywhere, it was like a disease he couldn't get rid of. As much as he tried to forget, the memories stubbornly remained. How frustrating. Would he ever be truly free like this?

_Ivan's like a disease. Even after he's gone, his annoying presence is left everywhere. _Yao thought to himself.

Arms wrapped around his waist, causing him to jump. "Ah!" Yao exclaimed. Lips pressed gently against the base of his neck. There was a chuckle.

"Yao, it's just me." Arthur soothed.

"Don't scare me like that." Yao relaxed.

"Let's go back to bed." Arthur's arms tightened around the fragile beauty. The soft lips continued to press at the base of his neck, and they continued down his slender, pale shoulders.

"Yeah, I just wanted to get something to drink." He opened the fridge door, his fingers lingering over the milk bottles. However, those beautiful elegant fingers passed the milk bottles, and instead rested on top of a glass bottle filled with barely tea.

* * *

The next morning, holding hands they strolled together beside the Kowloon harbor for a morning walk. Arthur's phone rang and he reached for it in his pocket. "Would you mind if I took this call?" He asked.

"No, I don't mind. Go ahead." Yao said smiling.

Yao watched as Arthur avidly chatted on the phone quickly.

"Oh? Really! That's great!" His grin stretched widely. He hung up and turned to Yao eagerly. Arthur turned to Yao with a bright and exuberant expression. "I was able to buy it! We can finally live together! You can be by my side!" He said.

"Eh? What do you mean?" Yao smiled. "Slow down."

"Yao, why don't you come to London with me? It'lll be wonderful! I now have a townhouse in London, you can live there with me. I'll take care of everything for you." Arthur had a excited and expectant expression. "We can finally be together, we'll finally have the dream we've always wanted." His green eyes lit up with energy, and he took Yao's hands in his own.

However, he noticed that Yao didn't seem as excited. Yao had a strange, uneasy expression. Concerned, Arthur tilted Yao's chin with his fingers. "But ... it's not your dream anymore, is it?

"I've given it some thought. " Yao hesitated. "I wanted this so much too-"

Arthur interrupted him and his sparkling green eyes lit up. "Then what's the problem? We should go immediately! Besides, we've prolonged this long enough, don't you think?"

"No, it's just that right now, my life is just messed up. I don't know what I want anymore, and I need to sort it out."

"Are you sure Yao? I can wait longer."

"I don't want to face you with such half - assed feelings. I don't want to stay with you like this, when my heart is wavering."

Arthur chuckled. "That's just so like you. Always so considerate of others, even when you're rejecting them."

"Please don't say that." Yao said and his heart clenched. He never wanted to cause Arthur any pain.

"Haha ... I guess, I'm just a little disappointed." He raked his blonde hair out of his eyes. "I really looked forward to life with you. Is it no good anymore? Do you not love me anymore? Is that why you can't live with me?" Arthur asked earnestly.

"I loved you Arthur. I still do." Tears glimmered unshed in Yao's eyes. "I-I wonder why it's not enough? I ... it would've been better if we've never met. Then you and I never would've had to wait for each other so long." Yao choked, and turned his face to the side.

"Yao, look at me." Arthur grasped Yao's chin with his fingers. He was met with Yao's large, shining eyes. "I didn't mind waiting for you. If I had to wait for all of eternity, I wouldn't mind. If I never met you, I never would've known what love was." He rested his forehead on Yao's. " So, please don't cry my beloved."

"I'm so sorry, Arthur. You care so much for me, and you waited for so long. Yet I can't -" His words started to spill out, and his heart clenched painfully.

"Shh. You don't need to apologize to me." He stroked Yao's hair soothingly. Arthur sighed deeply. "I'll ask one more time. Are you sure?" He leaned forward, a little silver of hope still glimmering the back of his eyes. Arthur didn't want to give up.

"I'm sorry but I can't go with you to London. At least not right now. Maybe we shouldn't be lovers anymore." Yao experienced a pang of sorrow with every word he said. "I'm sorry." He repeated quietly.

"Yao, it's okay." He gave an understanding smile, but his eyes were full of sorrow. "I understand your wishes, and I intend to respect them."

Those lovely light green eyes that caught the sun seemed to shine, tears seemed to form at the corner of his eyes. He breathed heavily and blinked a little too rapidly. He glanced at his watch. "Well, where do you want to go? The wind is strong, we shouldn't stay out here too long."

"I don't know, but I think I'll stay here for a little longer." Yao smiled faintly.

"Are you sure? I have to go soon, due to a business meeting. I don't want to leave you here by yourself."

Yao smiled faintly. "Don't worry. I'll be fine. Go." Yao didn't want them to part with tears. After all, they both seemed on the verge of tears.

"Okay." He said softly. Arthur took of his jacket and draped it over Yao's slender shoulders. "Stay warm."

"Remember that I will always be with you whenever you need me." He leaned over, and hesitated. Arthur tucked a silky strand of Yao's hair away and caressed his cheek one last time. Then, he pressed a gentle kiss on Yao's forehead. He whispered some words into Yao's ear.

**"I'll always love you." Were his last parting words. **

Yao let out a shocked gasp and his eyes widened, allowing the sun to flood his honey orbs. They watered and continued to fill, but they didn't fall. There Yao was left alone in the fading morning by the Kowloon harbor. Draped over his shoulders was the jacket of his first love, with every inhale the scent of that British man filled his nostrils. The wind picked up, causing the leaves to rustle.

He watched as Arthur's back recede, that familiar back was getting further away. It was time for Yao to stand on his own.


End file.
